Everybody thinks their kid is God’s gift, but I’ve compiled a list of proof that my son actually is!
Read it and weep (at the feet of your new overlord).
Calm down, I’m not really claiming my unruly three-year-old is the Messiah – I doubt even toddler Jesus was this into trains – but after reading the following list, you may find yourself believing.
Ten Ways My Son is like Jesus
- Christmas is all about him
- He has long hair
- People follow him around doing whatever he says (mostly me and his mom but it counts)
- He says a lot of stuff that gets misinterpreted
- He can turn water into whine
- His mom was a virgin when he was conceived (IT’S TRUE SHUT UP)
- I’ve seen him destroy a marketplace in a fit of rage
- He’s sometimes referred to as “the King of the Juice”
- I occasionally make him wash my feet
- He thinks his father* is God