This page is a place for you to get things off your chest.
Let me start: Sometimes I make my kid put damp undies back on because I don’t want to do the laundry every two seconds and HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO USE THE TOILET. Wow, what a load off! (See? Just putting something out there can make you feel better!)
Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me. Unless you go psycho and say some super-fucked-up shit that compels me to blow the whistle. But you won’t do that, right? Right.
Bury your parenting secrets via the entry form below, and they will be displayed, anonymously (or not: you can enter whatever you want in the “name” field), on this page. For all your parenting compatriots to see, and gasp at/laugh at/identify with/get ideas from.
I call my 2.5 year old daughter horrible names behind her back when she's being a super c*nt (which, at 2.5 is quite frequently). Never to her face because she repeats everything and then I'd be outed (and also bc that wouldn't be nice).
My best friend is pregnant with her first child and it's driving me crazy. Not only does she refuse to re-use bottle racks, clothes, or furniture from friends and/or family, she tells me I'm wrong about motherhood. I am a mother of 3. Since she struggled to get pregnant, she is convinced that life is going to be unicorns and rainbows, and she will love every little minute of motherhood. When I try to tell her to get prepared for a lot of big changes, she tells me I'm being depressing and trying to scare her. It just pisses me off that women just want to hear how magical it will all be, and then when they're sleep deprived, unshowered, and covered in shit, milk, and puke with cracked nipples, they wonder why nobody warned them about what parenthood is REALLY like.
My kid never sleeps. She is 2.5 and still wakes up screaming multiple times a night, nevermind how needy she is. My house looks like Wal-Mart after Boxing Day most of the time which wreaks havoc on my OCD . Im counting down the days until she goes to school and I can have time alone and a clean house.
I cuss out my little daughter when she's being rocked to sleep and is being fussy and not cooperating. Now I'm getting REALLY comfortable muttering, "Go the fuck to sleep, you little shit" under my breath among myriad of other "names" at my daughter. (She's 1yr and half, hopefully she's not picking this up ha)
So my 15 month old daughter is allergic to pretty much every goddamn thing on the food pyramid. The fucking allergy test showed she's allergic to MILK, and she HATES the taste of formula, plus she's allergic to goddamn soy, coconut, almond and any other plant based shitty drink. So my wife ends up pumping constantly, which burns up precious time and has me picking up slacks in cooking, cleaning and every other shit that a household needs to get done. I love my wife, love my baby, HATE that fucking allergist who gave me that life crushing skin prick test. I want to just give my baby milk one day, and have epi-pen ready to stick her in case she chokes (she's not THAT allergic, we give her goddamn yogurt for fucks sake). I beat my mango allergy by eating fuck load of mangos, why can't she get over milk allergy same way?
We're expecting our first kiddo next year. Of all the thoughts that run through my head, the loudest is gender. If it's a boy, I've got a little buddy to teach. If it's a girl, my life is ruined.
Hi, I'm a father and I hate it. And I mean HATE.
Daughter 4, boy 2. They won't shut the fuck up! The constant yammering, fighting, screaming. Even typing this is pissing me off. I drink and take pills daily to cope. Today I woke up at 4:30PM in an attempt to be happy tonight. Nope.
Now it's time to go to the county Fair where we will chase down the kids and tell them no to almost everything they want, because what they will want is irrational and/or impossible. They will fight constantly, they will cry, scream, bitch and yell all night. I will try to get as buzzed as possible so I can get on their level and have a minute of fun. They ruin that fun, though. That is a given.
I hate it.
I love my baby and feel blessed that here in Canada they offer a year of paid mat leave (at 55% of your salary). But good god am I ever bored. I have zero interest in going to 'play groups' with my 3 month old to listen to other moms talk about their children. There's only so many things you can do to entertain a baby and you can only talk to them for so long without feeling slightly insane. Therefore I've decided to go back to work part time at 7 months. Cant take being at home any more.
I turn off the wifi and wait until my 2 year old son's iPad stops working and like and say the battery died. But then I'm just as sad as he is because I'm stuck having to entertain him. The grandparents aren't really around to help and he's out of daycare due to moving. It's either raining or snowing and only nice June, July, Aug so I'm slowly counting down the years until he's old enough to get out of my hair.
My 4 year old has the personality of people I actively avoid in my adult life. Sometimes I actively avoid her too.
I let my kid play with the cleaner bottles underneath the sink so I can get dinner made. It's not like she's drinking them. Don't judge.
We have 2 kids that go to bed an hour apart due to the age difference, Sometimes we change all the clocks forward an hour so while the younger one thinks he is staying up late the other does not complain when we send him to bed at the "usual time". Sitting here going to ourselves... Best idea ever!
My kids never ask dad for anything, even if he's right there. They will go looking for me everywhere so that I can take care of it. So when I get annoyed by all their requests including my husbands, I go hide in the bathroom. If they call out for me I don't respond so they won't know where I am. I kick my feet up on the counter and enjoy instagram or games on my phone until they find me. Been doing this for quite some time and they still haven't figured out to check the bathrooms first.
So I'm the morning parent. I'm the parent that get the kid dressed, fed (chocolate milk and Lucky Charms- I mean marshmallows- and whatever real breakfast I make for myself), and out the door to daycare. All while my husband can barely get himself out the door in time to do PT in the morning (he's military). I'm the parent who has to make sure we have blanket, owl, penguin, and some random blue truck I didn't even know we owned, in the car so we can get out the door without a tantrum, and maybe, just maybe, I remember my coffee. I have to leave an hour and a half early just so I can make it to work by 9, and then with traffic, it takes me about an hour, sometimes hour to get home at night (without picking the kid up or going to the gym). What's the first thing my kid says to me when I come in the door at night, usually pissed off from a job I hate and pays me peanuts and tired? "Go away mommy". Yea I love you too, you little asshole.
If you're a person who doesn't like kids and your significant other tries to convince you that you will like your own kid, don't be like me: don't be fooled. By way of analogy, the flu is disruptive and unpleasant whether it's your flu or someone else's, and you can't just magically start liking having the flu (for the rest of your life) despite your best intentions.
My kids are little assholes! That is all. But... I love them to death! #momstruggle
I love my stepdaughters (and like them, most days), but loving my stepson or even liking him at this point is getting to be a real struggle. He's 12 yet still wets the bed and won't change his sheets or wash himself unless we remind him. He lies about everything. He'll sneak around and eat almost all the treats when he thinks no one is looking. He's stolen from his dad, me, his sisters, and the kids across the street. And he is putting in zero effort to change his behavior. He's always sorry when he gets caught, but never sorry enough to stop being an asshole. It's like living with a 5yo in a 12yo's body, and we've tried EVERYTHING (parenting classes, social skills classes, medication changes, neurobehavioral experts). At this point I just want a break from him for a year or so, but no one else will take him, either.
So I strongly dislike being a mom. I love my little boy to death, but this whole being a mom business sucks. He needs everything all day long. So when I need a mental break I give him whatever he wants whether its chicken nuggets for breakfast or mini wheats for dinner. Its the only time I have some sanity and can binge watch Netflix. When I have to put energy into being a mom like making him eat healthy foods or potty training, I literally cry and scream inside.
My mother was shitty. I have never been happy. I do things because if I waited till I was "feeling better" to do things (get a job, get a degree, have kids, get married) I'd never do anything at all. I got married and had kids in the time honored tradition of faking it till you make it. My secret is that I don't know if I did the right thing. I'm not allowed to say that to anyone, not my husband, not anyone. What I do know is that I have probably only set up a guilt machine that will run for the rest of my life, I lost my career to my kids, and I don't have a lot of patience for whining, just like my mother.... the future will probably hold a lot of such revelations. This whole things is pretty dissatisfying. I feel like I've really put the last nail in hope's coffin when I decided to have a family.
Love my wee one (10yr old) to death (required disclaimer.. I guess) but if she rolls her eyes at me one more time, I am putting her back in the Ovary ! Shit!