This page is a place for you to get things off your chest.
Let me start: Sometimes I make my kid put damp undies back on because I don’t want to do the laundry every two seconds and HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO USE THE TOILET. Wow, what a load off! (See? Just putting something out there can make you feel better!)
Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me. Unless you go psycho and say some super-fucked-up shit that compels me to blow the whistle. But you won’t do that, right? Right.
Bury your parenting secrets via the entry form below, and they will be displayed, anonymously (or not: you can enter whatever you want in the “name” field), on this page. For all your parenting compatriots to see, and gasp at/laugh at/identify with/get ideas from.
I like to take a day off parenting here and there ... So because of the lack of family we have to babysit ..I have designated a kid free day in my house by giving them their iPads connected to the wall so the battery won't die and they can use it all day with very little interaction from me ... I order food for them and have snacks and juice boxes ready in the counter so I can be lazy and binge watch tv ... It sounds so bad .. I feel guilty ..but we normally run around so much between school and after school activities, errands . I need an at home lazy me day to stay sane .
My toilet trained 3 year old boy was mad at me and he pee on the couch to spite me. Believe me, it was no accident, the little asshole look right at me. I grabbed him and smushed his face on the pee stain for 2 seconds. I feel super guilty afterwards.
We live in Canada and I thanked God every day for short Winter days when my daughter wasn't old enough to tell time because we'd tell her it was bedtime at 6 pm because "it's dark" and she fell for it every time. Unfortunately she no knows how to tell time, but we have a 1 year old and are totally planning on pulling the same shit with her when she's older. 🙂
I'm a first time mom, to a happy, chubby 4 month old. I have to say there are times when I hate being a mom. I am fiercely independent and get overwhelmed having a little person so dependent on me. I miss being able to go & do whatever I want, when I want. But at the same time, when that little chubbster smiles at me, my heart melts into a gazillion pieces.
My kids pick their nose and eat it. I don't care. They eat stuff off the floor daily and I don't care. I'd let them eat ca and dog food too...who cares? Not me!
After my daughter was born, I was stuck in the hospital for a week without her. Then I had to go back to work. Then my milk supply dried up because I wasn't around her enough. I feel completely and utterly useless towards my only child, and like we haven't made a connection at all. She's almost three months now, and smiles for her dad and grandma, but never at me.... I hate it more than anything. I'm crying just typing this..
My kid is an honest asshole. He doesnt care who, what or when, he is always honest. I personally do not like any of my husbands friends wives, so whenever we spend time with any of them I really enjoy watching my son call them out on all of their fakeness. For an example one time he said are you on your period all the time or is this who you are as a person? It is almoat like having a secret weapon in the female vs. Female war.
I routinely sweep up (& throw away) random small toys and toy parts while cleaning the common rooms of the house. When they look for the toy, I tell them to go pick up their room and I bet it will turn up.
I used to set all the clocks in the house an hour ahead so that the (then)8 year old would go to bed early. After he went to bed I would go back and change them all back. I got away with this through that entire fall and winter on any night that he was particularly cranky. I preserved my sanity this way while my husband was out of the country for six months.
It's a bank holiday in the UK on Monday, which I have off. My husband has to work, and my son's nursery is open. So guess who's getting a day to herself!
My daughter caught me eating one of her lollies. When she asked if I was eating a lolly, I said "no, I'm eating something with chilli in it". She said "eww" and left the room and I went back to eating her lollies.
I told my niece that the police would get her if she was bad. Instead of behaving, she now flips the bird to all passing patrol cars.
I pick up the Cheerios off the floor and put them back on the tray for my 10 month old.
I cook healthy and train my daughters to look at nutrition labels. Then after they're asleep, I pull out the Libdt hazelnut chocolate I've been hiding and enjoy it. Quietly and thoroughly.
This is really bad: My four-year old has been such an asshole lately to everyone in our family that I threatened that if he didn't start being good, he was going to have to go live in the woods AND would probably be eaten by wolves. He replied, "I will take my tricycle, Mom. They will not be able to catch me." To which I responded, "Wolves can run much faster than your trike. Trust me."
I think my husband is a bad dad. He use to be great and he has the potential to be great if he'd stop being selfish. So I'm left parenting my step kid, who is rotten and our 2 young kids by myself.
I have the absolute best time and connection with my kids when I'm slightly stoned. The brownies I keep locked in the freezer turn me into Mr. Rogers and 10x the Dad I would be otherwise. God bless Colorado.
I tried to show my oldest how to skateboard.
...with my youngest in a baby bjorn strapped to my chest.
We fell, but it turned-out much better than it should have.
I tell my son that the police will come if he keeps throwing a tantrum. Shuts him right up, but I do feel guilty afterward.
My 4 yr old has been so heinous this week I almost called preschool w a fake emergency reason why I had to pick her up late