This page is a place for you to get things off your chest.
Let me start: Sometimes I make my kid put damp undies back on because I don’t want to do the laundry every two seconds and HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO USE THE TOILET. Wow, what a load off! (See? Just putting something out there can make you feel better!)
Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me. Unless you go psycho and say some super-fucked-up shit that compels me to blow the whistle. But you won’t do that, right? Right.
Bury your parenting secrets via the entry form below, and they will be displayed, anonymously (or not: you can enter whatever you want in the “name” field), on this page. For all your parenting compatriots to see, and gasp at/laugh at/identify with/get ideas from.
I routinely sweep up (& throw away) random small toys and toy parts while cleaning the common rooms of the house. When they look for the toy, I tell them to go pick up their room and I bet it will turn up.
I used to set all the clocks in the house an hour ahead so that the (then)8 year old would go to bed early. After he went to bed I would go back and change them all back. I got away with this through that entire fall and winter on any night that he was particularly cranky. I preserved my sanity this way while my husband was out of the country for six months.
It's a bank holiday in the UK on Monday, which I have off. My husband has to work, and my son's nursery is open. So guess who's getting a day to herself!
My daughter caught me eating one of her lollies. When she asked if I was eating a lolly, I said "no, I'm eating something with chilli in it". She said "eww" and left the room and I went back to eating her lollies.
I told my niece that the police would get her if she was bad. Instead of behaving, she now flips the bird to all passing patrol cars.
I pick up the Cheerios off the floor and put them back on the tray for my 10 month old.
I cook healthy and train my daughters to look at nutrition labels. Then after they're asleep, I pull out the Libdt hazelnut chocolate I've been hiding and enjoy it. Quietly and thoroughly.
This is really bad: My four-year old has been such an asshole lately to everyone in our family that I threatened that if he didn't start being good, he was going to have to go live in the woods AND would probably be eaten by wolves. He replied, "I will take my tricycle, Mom. They will not be able to catch me." To which I responded, "Wolves can run much faster than your trike. Trust me."
I think my husband is a bad dad. He use to be great and he has the potential to be great if he'd stop being selfish. So I'm left parenting my step kid, who is rotten and our 2 young kids by myself.
I have the absolute best time and connection with my kids when I'm slightly stoned. The brownies I keep locked in the freezer turn me into Mr. Rogers and 10x the Dad I would be otherwise. God bless Colorado.
I tried to show my oldest how to skateboard.
...with my youngest in a baby bjorn strapped to my chest.
We fell, but it turned-out much better than it should have.
I tell my son that the police will come if he keeps throwing a tantrum. Shuts him right up, but I do feel guilty afterward.
My 4 yr old has been so heinous this week I almost called preschool w a fake emergency reason why I had to pick her up late
My son got into the fun habit of screaming at me constantly wanting ice cream. I was tired of fighting it all the time so I bought a candy mold, smeared Greek yogurt over it, froze it and now he thinks it's ice cream. After telling him, oh sure you can have ice cream, and not saying no he didn't find joy in the game anymore and has since stopped. Problem
I routinely tell my 3yo that whatever she's asking for or to do is against the law so I don't have to fight with her about it. Currently, she thinks that watching Disney Jr during prime time hours, wearing socks with sandals, and drinking soda under the age of 12 is illegal.
I routinely tell my son that the snack I'm eating is "spicy" so he won't want it. I'll say it about ice cream. IDGAF!