Disney’s World

Disney’s World

Earlier this year, when I wrote about the lack of Disney in children’s lives earlier this year, a few people chimed in to tell me I have a blind spot because I don’t have a daughter.

Which is exactly right.

But Disney is not just about girls – nor is it particularly absent – when you consider all the properties they own. Which you’ll be able to do at will this fall, since Disney is now on Netflix.

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Wherefore Art Thou, Disney?

Wherefore Art Thou, Disney?

When I was a kid, we visited Disney World.

At some point we ended up on a breakfast cruise, and there are pictures of me there, cherub-faced and smiling wide, surrounded by Mickey and Minnie, Chip and Dale, Cinderella, and assorted other Disney characters. I don’t remember it, but I’ve seen pictures, and I have no doubt it was one of the happiest days of my life. (We visited Disneyland too, but come on. There’s a reason all the pictures from that trip are from Universal Studios.)

I worshiped Disney as a kid. My five-year-old has no idea what Disney is.

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The Pizza Solution

The Pizza Solution

As a parent, pizza plays a big role in my life.

Every weekend, we have a movie night with my picky five-year-old, and we watch a movie of his choice (please choose Star Wars, please choose Star Wars!) and eat some pie. Already, pizza is being connected to some of his favorite nights, and that’s a good thing.

Many of my childhood memories of food are negative, due to my parents’ unrelenting insistence on making me eat vegetables I despised. But there are a few positive associations, and many of them involve pizza. I mean, how can you have a bad time when pizza is involved?

Please, allow me to feed your #pizzastalgia with this heartwarming story from my youth…

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Inspirational Movies

Inspirational Movies

My son is in is second year playing little league.

If you’ve ever seen five-year-olds on a baseball field, then you know that I use the word “playing” very loosely. There’s less crying this year, but there’s also less paying attention. Most of Detective Munch’s time in the field is spent sitting on the grass or playing with sticks and dirt.

Despite the fact that he enjoys being up to bat, he’s already expressed his reluctance to attend some of his games. So over the weekend, in an effort to get him motivated to play, I decided to pull out some inspirational movies.

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Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

I used to go to 100-plus movies a year. Then I became a parent.

Last week, I saw a movie in the theater for the first time in a while. An adult movie. (Well, it was a superhero movie, so “adult” may be a stretch. But it’s not exactly for five-year-olds either. A guy gets shot in the head, point-blank. I think my kid can wait a few years to see that.) It’s a rare occurrence these days.

I’m just not going to spend 100 bucks on a babysitter so I can go sit in a dark room and not talk to my wife. If I’m spending 100 bucks on a babysitter, I’m gonna go sit in a candlelit room and silently stare at my wife while we guzzle overpriced booze. So the only time I see movies is when I take my kid, and that’s not the same.

Because taking kids to the movies sucks.

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