Foolproof Food

Foolproof Food

Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Barilla for this promotion. All words, opinions, and praise for how good the recipe is belong to me.

Much more embarrassing disclosure: I can’t cook.

But my kids need to eat, and take-out gets expensive. During back to school season, our days get pretty hectic, and sometimes when Mom and Buried is prepping school lunches or helping with homework, I get dinner duty. As I said, I’m no chef, so I need something simple and quick that I can’t screw up.

Unfortunately, my wife informed me long ago that two packets of Ramen noodles is not an acceptable meal option for children. But pasta is!

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Thanks, Maybe

Thanks, Maybe

The other day, after Mom and Buried mentioned something about Father’s Day to Detective Munch, he responded by complaining about the fact that there isn’t a “kid’s day.”

Have you stopped laughing?

A child asking why there isn’t a kids’ day is like a white dude chanting “ALL LIVES MATTER” or a Meninist existing.

EVERY DAY IS KID’S DAY, JUNIOR.

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Cool Beans

Cool Beans

Before we have kids, we often make a lot of hyperbolic statements about the things we can’t live without. Things like bacon and beer, as well as certain albums and books and movies.

Then you have kids, and those kids immediately skyrocket to the top of the list. Some of the other items on the list are displaced, having instantly become frivolous, but some of them remain, and even grow in importance.

Like coffee!

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Cereal Filler

Cereal Filler

The Hammer won’t eat anything.

For a while, we thought we had him with pieorogies, and pizza, and pancakes, but he soon abandoned his alliteration-based preferences and embarked on a hunger strike. Cooking food for him quickly became a chore when all he wanted was his bottle of milk.

He loves his snacks, though, and despite the fact that he has occasionally procured a potato chip or two (second kids FTW!), he mostly munches on Cheerios. And thank god, because not only does he actually eat them, they don’t require any prep!

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Your Dignity Doesn’t Matter

Your Dignity Doesn’t Matter

Being a good parent means your kids’ comfort, health and happiness always supersede yours.

Parenting is about sacrifice, and that means more than giving your son the last piece of bacon, or being forced to stop listening to Kanye when your daughter is in the back seat. It means letting your kid think he told you what Superman’s one weakness is, or why the dinosaurs went extinct.

You have to sacrifice a little ego, and sometimes you have to sacrifice a little dignity. Just make sure it’s worth it when you do!

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