Come On, Admit Your Kid Sucks

Come On, Admit Your Kid Sucks

I’m not one to mince words or make excuses. I never have been, and that didn’t change when I became a parent.

This is why I often find it irritating to hear all the ways other parents try to avoid blaming their kids for bad behavior. This is aside from the fact that most other parents, and other parents’ children, are irritating to begin with! (No offense. I barely like myself as a parent. Parenting’s not really a good look on anyone.)

Just go ahead and admit your kid sucks sometimes.

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How To Raise Successful Kids

How To Raise Successful Kids

Every parent has the same basic goals for their kids, no matter how different our lifestyles, parenting techniques, or circumstances may be: We all want them to grow up healthy, happy, and, hopefully, successful. Not necessarily rich, but self-sufficient and content.

Unfortunately, no one really knows how to make that happen. Sure, we have suspicions about what will work, and we do our best to enact parenting policies that encourage our kids to develop in the ways we want them to, but when it comes down to it, we’re all guessing.

Well, most of us are.

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Breakfast Bonding

Breakfast Bonding

What is it with children and Cheerios?

My 6-year-old eats them, my baby attempts to eat them, they both spill them and play with them and throw them around. Meanwhile, my cupboard is full of them, my floor is littered with them, the backseat of my car is covered in them, and I’m constantly stepping on them.

I bet you are too. Because when you have kids, you have Cheerios. There’s no way around it.

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Honesty Is The Best Policy (For Women)

Honesty Is The Best Policy (For Women)


When your wife asks you how she looks, you must do the following:

1. Look her over

2. Look her over for a reasonable enough amount of time that your answer is credible

3. Don’t look her over for so long as to imply untoward scrutiny or the existence of flaws heretofore unseen and/or altogether nonexistent

4. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

5. But don’t say anything except “You look great!”

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