Guy Dye

Guy Dye

If you have kids and you haven’t gone gray yet, either stop lying or just give it time.

There are days I can practically feel my hair changing color as it’s happening. Which is usually when my 6-year-old is throwing a fit about having to go to bed/having to go to school/having to take a bath/having to eat dinner/having to do his homework/etc.

Going gray is a part of getting older, and a part of parenting, and I’m okay with it. I’m not vain. Besides, a little salt and pepper worked out great for George Clooney and I’m nothing if not exactly like George Clooney!

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Switch Played

Switch Played

I didn’t exactly grow up bonding over video games with my dad.

For one thing, video games didn’t exist when my dad was a kid – they only barely existed when I was a kid! – and by the time my brothers and I were playing Coleco, he couldn’t have cared less. I seem to recall some initial fascination with the first Nintendo when it came out, but my father had neither the time nor the inclination to sit down and play Super Mario Bros or Metroid with us. So video games had never stuck out to me as an opportunity for quality parenting time.

Until now!

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Cool Beans

Cool Beans

Before we have kids, we often make a lot of hyperbolic statements about the things we can’t live without. Things like bacon and beer, as well as certain albums and books and movies.

Then you have kids, and those kids immediately skyrocket to the top of the list. Some of the other items on the list are displaced, having instantly become frivolous, but some of them remain, and even grow in importance.

Like coffee!

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When Dad Jokes Get Real

When Dad Jokes Get Real

When you have kids, you don’t become just a mother or a father. You become a teacher, a doctor, a cop, a waiter, a maid, and a referee if you have more than one kid. (Here’s hoping you don’t have a daredevil kid who requires you to be a firefighter also!)

On top of all that, on top of suddenly having to do a bunch of lame stuff like discipline your kids and clean up after your kids, and on top of your office becoming a nursery, your Netflix queue drowning in cartoons, and the car you once loved becoming a breeding ground for Goldfish crumbs and spit-up stains, the real horror hits: Not only have you become a dad, you’ve become your dad!

It’s already happening to me.

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