Why Texting is Better Than Calling

Why Texting is Better Than Calling

I hate talking on the phone. I hate it so much that if we are in the middle of a conversation via text, and then you call me, I will ignore the phone and continue texting you.

First of all, talking on the phone is the literal worst. Second of all, whether you respond to an email with a phone call, respond to a text with a email, or respond to a phone call with a text, changing mediums MID-CONVERSATION is the height of rudeness!

Well, actually calling someone is the height of rudeness, but switching mediums midstream is a close second! Anyway, here are three scenarios illustrating why texting is better than calling.

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Underrated Milestones

Underrated Milestones

My second kid turned eight months old yesterday. He has a few teeth, we’ve started easing him into baby food (with disastrous results), and he’s looking to crawl any minute, which is going to severely complicate my life and increase my stress level.

Meanwhile, the original kid started first grade last week. He is about to lose a few teeth, tried oysters for the first time over the summer (loved them!), and, most significantly, is dangerously close to being able to read the channel guide, thus preventing me from lying about his shows not being on.

This is all very momentous, obviously, but when do my kids developmental milestones start helping me?

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The Death of Cool Dad

The Death of Cool Dad

Today, I turn 40.

This used to be a big deal. It used to mean middle age. (I’m not sure it ever used to mean adulthood, because I’m pretty sure adulthood used to start a lot earlier, and if yours hasn’t started before you turn 40, you might be in trouble. If you have kids, they definitely are!)

I’m not really sweating turning 40. Sure, there are some things I’m disappointed I haven’t accomplished yet (*coughMYBOOKcough*) but 40 is the new 30, so I still have some time.

But there is one thing that bums me out about today’s milestone.

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Parents Are Always Scared

Parents Are Always Scared

As you may know, my son has a bad tree nut allergy. This means we need an epipen, and epipens recently increased in price by something like 400 percent. Even that scumbag Martin Shkreli is appalled. (That’s not even a joke; he really is.) The one time my son required the use of his epipen, we hesitated, unsure if it was necessary, and didn’t use it. He’s okay, but it was scary. (Turns out we should have used it, and we’d dodged a bullet.)

His allergy is scary. Needing an epipen is scary. The fact that we’ll probably be faced with that exact scenario again some day is scary. But what else is new? Everything about parenting is scary.

I’m always scared, and I bet you are too.

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