When my wife got pregnant, the need to prepare took over our lives.

Well, not for the first 6 months.  But now, we’re in overdrive.

For the past few weeks I’ve been in baby stores galore. Looking for chairs and cribs and clothes and more. And those things adds up.

When my wife told me she was pregnant, I had visions of a financial windfall: She won’t be able to drink! We’ll go out a lot less often! The money will pour in!

And that wasn’t entirely untrue. Our bar tabs shrank considerably, and foregoing alcohol at brunch, lunch, dinner and midnight is definitely a money saver. But those savings were ultimately nothing compared to the amount of money that needs to be spent on the incoming child.

Furniture I get. Clothing I get. Room decals? Fine. The baby has no idea what a tree is, nevermind why there’s a huge sticker of one looming over his crib, but sure, honey. Go for it. Paint, though? Really? Paint? Won’t that stunt the kid’s growth or something? It certainly stunts my weekend.

But I’d better get used to that I guess. Because if I think a pregnant wife is going to save me money by keeping us out of bars and restaurants, then a newborn baby is going to be like hitting the lottery!

Wait. I feel like I’m already forgetting what I’ve learned.