I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Last year, I posted a video of my kids having an impromptu dance party to “We Are The World,” a classic 80s tune my 7-year-old learned about it in school for some inexplicable reason. (I’m not complaining: “We Are The World” is FIRE!)
In the video, my toddler can be seen dancing along with his older brother, occasionally attempting to mimic his amateur break-dancing moves, all while happily sucking on his pacifier.
It caused a little controversy.
A few months ago, I joined that Sarahah site, via which people can send you anonymous messages (hmu: username dadandburied, duh).
I was expecting to get mocked and hoping to be praised. Unfortunately, I ended up getting asked heavy questions, like the one in the photo: do you enjoy being a dad or do you wish you were free?
Um, both? It’s a paradox.
Parents spend so much time teaching our kids the dos and don’ts of proper behavior that we seem to forget that we need to adhere to the same rules.
We want our kids to grow up with empathy and compassion, acceptance and generosity and more, but we often go around practicing the exact opposite, particularly when it comes to our interactions with fellow parents.
Can’t we all get along?
I call my kids all sorts of things.
For starters, they have the generic names everyone calls their kids: little guy, munchkin, monkey, etc. Mom and Buried uses various terms of affection, like pumpkin and cutie-pie and goofer. I often use weird names like “munch machine” and “cracker town” that I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain (I also don’t have an actual explanation).
Then there are their blog nicknames (which I rarely use anywhere but online), along with various terms of aggravation (which I never use to their faces), like jerk, and dick, and asshole.
People occasionally get angry at me for using those words, which is understandable. Getting angry about people who call their kid “buddy” is decidedly less so…
Parents get up in arms about all sorts of things.
It makes sense. Our kids are important to us, so things that affect them are important to us too. But so many parenting issues grow contentious as initial feelings of concern become loaded with judgment and superiority. The next thing you know, there are full-blown controversies over how other people are raising their kids.
I do my best not to get involved in those stupid parenting controversies.