20 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 18 comments

You Be Villain

My son is out to get me. And I’m not just talking about the time he ordered a Big Mac at KFC.

As a kid, you have a tendency to see the adults in your life as the bad guys, especially when you’re a teenager. When you become a parent, it’s obvious that it’s the children that are the problem; dastardly little beasts who materialize in the middle of your already-in-progress life and proceed to wreak havoc.

Maybe one day my son will write a blog about how I’m the Big Bad in his life, but in my version of the story, I’m the superhero and he’s my nemesis.

In fact, there are a few famous villains from the pop culture rogues gallery that my kid has lately been bringing to mind.

Stressed Augmentation

In many ways, having kids is great.

I can’t think of a lot of examples right now, but I like interacting with the hot moms at the playground, and I’ll probably be able to get a dog out of this whole thing pretty soon, since my son is obsessed and my wife can’t tell him no. So those are some perks. Plus, kids change your perspective and make you a better person and shift your priorities and let you see outside yourself and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Those Zs are purely figurative, by the way, because the flip-side to that “I’ve never been happier!” coin is that children also steal your sleep, drain your finances, shred your lifestyle, eliminate your free time and, I’m learning, increase your blood pressure.

Read more about Stressed Augmentation …

15 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking 17,582 comments

Drinking with Kids

When I lived in Boston and NYC, this weekend’s St. Paddy’s celebration was a big deal. But now, I live in the south – I’m not sure they’ve even heard of the Irish – AND I have a two-year-old. Day-drinking my way through St. Patrick’s Day is a lot harder with a toddler.

Even one who has got some Irish in him. (And has been there!)

Zombie Post: No Church in the Child

There’s something funny about “resurrecting” a post about raising my son to believe in God. Amirite? But with all this ridiculous Pope stuff in the news, I thought it made sense to revisit this old post, written only a few months after my kid was born. It’s about the conflict between my own disdain forRead more about Zombie Post: No Church in the Child[…]

12 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 8 comments

I Love Lying to My Kid

Kids lie. No matter how hard you stress the importance of honesty, they will still lie. It’s human nature.

My kid isn’t even three years old and I’ve already seen inklings. I’m not always sure that’s he truly lying about not having pooped or if he’s just so used to having poop in his pants that he can’t tell the difference, but sometimes he’s lying about it. Because he doesn’t want his diaper changed. Because he’s gross. But I digress.

Dealing with lying children is a natural part of being a parent. I knew that going in, and I’m ready for it.

But I didn’t know how much lying I’d be doing.

Dad and Buried

You Be Villain

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Stressed Augmentation

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Drinking with Kids

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Zombie Post: No Church in the Child

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I Love Lying to My Kid

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