22
Jul
Your Kid is Not Funny
I don’t know much, but I know your kid isn’t funny.
How do I know? Because no kids are funny.
NONE.
This includes mine.
Tag: Kids
15
Jun
“You’re a Great Dad. Who Knew?”
The title of this post is an exact quote from my wife. Thanks, honey?
It’s a borderline offensive thing to say, but she’s right. No one knew I’d be, let alone expected me to be, a great dad. Or even a good one. Not her. Not you. Least of all me.
Okay. Maybe least of all you.
20
Apr
Going Soft
Despite my best efforts, I think I’m going soft. My son is turning me into a wuss.
My wife likes to “joke” that I am a robot (I use quotes because she’s never laughing when she says it and I’m pretty sure it tears her up inside), or that I have no heart, because I never cry at commercials or movies or TV shows.
I like to think it’s because I’m not shallow and/or because my father raised me to believe that showing emotion was a sign of weakness (my father is John Wayne).
But having a child seems to be reducing my stoicism in uncomfortable ways. I’m beginning to care about people.
16
Apr
When Bad Parenting Happens to You
This weekend – this gorgeous, unseasonably hot weekend – Mom and Buried and I took Detective Munch to the park. We couldn’t keep him cooped up on such beautiful days, right? Plus, on Sunday, there was a Food Truck Rally happening and I needed me some food. Little did I know, there would be a side of bad parenting with it.
We weren’t the only ones with this idea. The park was teeming with people, many of them waiting in long lines to sample some Kimchi Tacos or Sicilian slices or gourmet ice cream sandwiches. We went for the tacos and they – and the accompanying nachos – were fantastic.
The other thing that happened in which I fell down on the parenting job and everyone thought I was an asshole? Not so fantastic.
12
Apr
Dealing with Tantrums
Ah, tantrums. Even the word sucks. But it’s got nothing on the experience.
When you have a toddler, they are impossible to avoid. But, rumor has it there are ways to defuse them.
If you’ve got the balls.