The Parents’ Passive-Aggressive Holiday Gift Guide

The Parents’ Passive-Aggressive Holiday Gift Guide

As you know, I have a son. He’s three years old and I love him to death. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me that I occasionally wish had never happened to me.

This Christmas is the first time he really, truly gets it, to the point that he actively flips through circulars and points at the toys he wants added to his list (two years ago I wrote about the gifts he won’t be getting). We’re going to give him a good Christmas, and he’ll get more than he needs, much more than he deserves, and nowhere near as much as he wants.

All I want in return is a smile and some laughter and a lot less screaming. And, because I’m petty and small, I wouldn’t mind if he experienced a little bit of the frustration that the holiday season brings me.

With that in mind, I put together a list of items you can get for your young children that will give you as much joy as Christmas gives them by giving them as much aggravation as your kids sometimes give you.

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Concession Stand

Concession Stand

Mom and Buried and I spent the weekend enjoying a local music festival. We knew from the start that Detective Munch wouldn’t be accompanying us to the many night-time shows, but – because we wanted him to experience some live music, which he loves – we took some of the daytime events.

On Saturday, we went to the less interesting (read: bluegrass) bands that were playing outside somewhere, rather than inside some dank dive bar my son couldn’t get into. It worked out okay; the kid got to dance and interact with dogs and strangers and we got to have a beer or two while doing our best to prevent our son from getting bit by disgruntled dogs and strangers.

It’s called compromise, and it’s part of being a parent. But on the eve of his third birthday, it’s time for my kid to start holding up his end of the bargain.

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Touch Me, I’m Slick

Touch Me, I’m Slick

Here’s the problem with smart phones and tablets and all the other fun, exciting new technology that is taking over our lives. Well, the problem besides the fact that they are taking over our lives.

The very technology that makes them fun, exciting and cool to us also makes them fun and exciting and cool to our children.

Next thing you know, your kids are pawing at your most expensive possessions. And it’s giving you an ulcer.

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Learning is Detrimental

Learning is Detrimental

Do your kids ever surprise you by knowing something you haven’t taught them? Something you wish they didn’t know?

The other day, while we were driving home from somewhere, my son started pointing at signs for various buildings and asking about them. “Is that where we get coffee?” “Is that where we get fries?” “Is that Target?” And he was right every time. It was simultaneously impressive and unsettling.

It’s amazing to watch my son’s mind expand, but it’s disconcerting when the logos of fast food restaurants and department stores are what’s filling it.

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