I do and say a lot of inappropriate things around my son, things I convince myself are okay since he’s barely 1 and there’s a) zero chance he’ll remember them and b) little chance they’ll impact him in the long-run.

But I know that these things will only become MORE inappropriate as he grows in age and understanding just as I know I won’t be able to stop doing and saying most of them for the foreseeable future.

So, with today’s debut of a new feature, I am going to try and get some of the best examples out of my system, one week at a time.

In a half-hearted attempt to curb some of those instincts – many of which revolve around saying, doing or watching things that just don’t make good sense to say or show to a child – I will be posting some of my favorite, most inappropriate quotes, images and scenes from movies, TV and other assorted media. Sometimes, even song lyrics (and I already have a few in mind, Bob Guccione, Jr. from Spin). As an outlet. And also just for kicks.

To kick things off, we’ll start with a classic – both in inappropriateness and inanity – and I’ll be back once a week or so (or more, if the spirit moves me) with further examples of the types of things my son probably shouldn’t be exposed to but almost certainly will be, because I’m a careless father and an inveterate consumer of media. Much of which is just plain inappropriate for children.

The debut clip is short but sweet. And gross. And a strange kind of threat.

Here you go – and please, wait until your kid turns at least five before showing him this movie. But definitely show him.

Maybe next week I’ll show the jugular rip.