One of the most annoying (according to my wife) and also best (according to me), is my habit of constantly quoting movies for no reason. I have seen a lot of movies and I remember a lot of lines from them, and I enjoy repeating them out loud,  even when they have no relation to what is happening at the moment. It’s adorable (me) and infuriating (her).

So I’ve decided to make an effort to quote lines that do make sense in the moment, and to help me this endeavor, I’ve made a list of memorable lines from action movies that apply to everyday parenting situations.

You can use them too! You’re welcome.

Action Movie One-Liners for Every Parenting Scenario

• When you drop your kid at school and promise to pick him/her up later:
  “I’LL BE BACK.” (THE TERMINATOR) 

 

• When you’re on the highway and your potty-training toddler says s/he needs to go to the bathroom: “I feel the need, the need for SPEED!” (TOP GUN)

 

• When your daughter throws a fit and threatens to run away from home:
  “Go ahead. Make my day.” (DIRTY HARRY)

 

• When you’re comforting your son after he falls off his scooter:
  “Pain don’t hurt.” (ROAD HOUSE)

 

• When you show your kids one of your favorite movies but they don’t appreciate it: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?” (GLADIATOR)

 

• When your open your baby’s diaper: “WHOA.”(POINT BREAK)(AND ALSO EVERY SINGLE MOVIE KEANU REEVES HAS EVER APPEARED IN EXCEPT MAYBE BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA (I CAN’T REMEMBER IF HE SAYS IT IN THAT))

 

• When you’re advising your son how best to introduce his little friend to his classmates: “Say hello to my little friend.” (SCARFACE)

 

• When you’re trying to warn your kids about dangerous rodents in the backyard:
  “WOLVERINES!” (RED DAWN)

 

• When you promised you’d take your kids somewhere but no longer feel like it:
  “I LIED.” (COMMANDO)

 

• When you’re angrily combing the nits out of your daughter’s hair:
  “You’re the disease, and I’m the cure.” (COBRA)

 

• When you’re trying to convince you’re son you can beat up his friend’s dad:
  “I know kung-fu.” (THE MATRIX)

 

• When you’re putting your baby to bed (and you want her to be bilingual):
  “Hasta la vista, baby!” (T2: JUDGMENT DAY)

 

• When the neighbor’s mean dog lunges at your daughter (dog must be female):
  “Get away from her, you bitch!” (ALIENS)

 

• When you’re helping your daughter with her math homework:
  “Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?” (SPEED)

 

• When you’ve just invited Richter to your son’s birthday party:
  “SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, RICHTER!” (TOTAL RECALL)

 

• When Richter arrives at your son’s birthday party:
  “WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL!” (DIE HARD)

 

• When you teenager gets a DUI and asks what will happen to his license:
  “It’s just been REVOKED!” (LETHAL WEAPON 2)

 

• When you’ve paid a lot of money for your helicopter tour of Manhattan and you’re running late because your toddler is taking forever to put his shoes on: “Get to da choppa!” (PREDATOR)

 

• When Grandpa dies and your kids don’t know what to do:
  “GET HIM A BODY BAG!” (THE KARATE KID)

 

• When you’re in literally any annoying parenting situation:
  “I’m too old for this shit.” (LETHAL WEAPON)