20 Jul

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking 2 comments

My Kid Hates Me Already

Even before I became a dad, I knew my kid was going to hate me someday.

At some point, probably somewhere around his 13th or 14th birthday, I’ll become Public Enemy #1. There’s no avoiding it; it’s biology! Most of us “hated” our parents when we were teens, for reasons both real and imagined (mostly imagined) and motivated by hormones, a need for independence, and, occasionally, outright shitty parents.

Now we’re the parents. The turntables have turned, and we’re going to be hated the same way we “hated” (your use of quotation marks may vary) our moms and dads.

I’m ready for it. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

29 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear One comment

Don’t Fear the Future

I’ve never really liked post-apocalyptic movies.

You know the ones, where the world is shit, whether by circumstance or calamity, and everyone left is fighting for survival and scrounging for sustenance. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome‘s dry, desert dystopia just depresses me (although I definitely enjoyed Fury Road). Everyone is so dirty! It looks miserable. One of the reasons people prefer The Empire Strikes Back to Star Wars is because for once, Tattoine isn’t involved.

The good news is I’m almost 40; the odds of having to experience such a hellscape in real life dwindle with every birthday I have. The bad news is that with every birthday he has, my son may actually be getting closer to experiencing such a life.

Thankfully, I don’t really care.

Read more about Don’t Fear the Future …

25 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 3 comments

Growing Up (Not So) Fast

It’s rare to find a parent who didn’t measure the passage of time by juxtaposing pictures of their kid’s first day of school in September with their kid’s last day of school in June.

And then, with a mixture of pride (“He did it!”) and petulance (“He’s growing up too fast!”), they bemoan the passage of time, whine about how fast it’s all going, and bitch about how quickly kids grow up.

I call bullshit.

15 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 2 comments

11 Ways Parenting is Like Watching “Game of Thrones”

Last night, another season of “Game of Thrones” ended in bloody, punishing, somewhat dispiriting fashion. (Don’t worry, no spoilers here!) Of course, it’s nothing you’re not used to already if you’re a fan of the show.

Or if you’re a parent.

I’m not crazy enough to suggest that the experience of raising children is anywhere near as savage – or as sexy! – as the world of Westeros. But I am crazy enough to suggest that the experience of watching what may be the most popular show in the world has a lot of things in common with parenting.

Eleven things, to be precise…

12 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline One comment

Fun with Discipline

Disciplining your children can be hard. But with the right attitude, disciplining your children can be a laugh riot!

I love putting my son in time-out, not letting him stay up any later, taking things away from him. Not food or shelter or love (I’m an asshole, not a psychopath!), but toys, and TV, and the other little perks of childhood. I don’t do it to instill values or help make him appreciate what he already has. I don’t even do it because he’s so spoiled already that it serves as a nice change of pace.

While those benefits are all well and good, I like depriving my son of the things he wants because it’s funny and it makes me feel better.

Dad and Buried

Category: Future

My Kid Hates Me Already

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Don’t Fear the Future

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Growing Up (Not So) Fast

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11 Ways Parenting is Like Watching “Game of Thrones”

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Fun with Discipline

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