Things Only Kids Can Say

4,944 comments

Kids say the darndest things. They also say the ballsiest things. Things only kids can say.

If I went around talking to my wife, my boss, my friends, anyone the way that my son often talks to his mother, to me, to his friends, strangers on the subway? I’d be divorced, fired, and drinking totally alone. Which might not be that bad, now that I think about it…

Children get away with a lot of stuff, especially in the early years.

For example…

My son is five, and he’s still a bit of a loose cannon. Some of the things he says are rude, some are crude, some are utterly inappropriate, and, more than you’d like to admit, some is pretty damn hilarious. But he’s also at the point where he has enough awareness to know that some of the stuff he’s saying is stuff he shouldn’t be saying. He says it anyway.parenting, only kids can say, talking, language, moms, dads, mommy bloggers, daddy bloggers, dad bloggers, humor, funny, dad and buried, parenthood, kids, children, family, lifestyle, home, learning, discipline

Sure, part of it is childhood innocence and inexperience, and part of it is typical boundary testing, but the rest is a giant heap of IDGAF! The kind of IDGAF that would make Donald Trump do a double-take.

Here are a few of the things my son has been known to say that only kids can get away with saying:

“This is disgusting! I want something else for dinner.”
If I said this to my wife, after she’d spent the last hour-plus putting a well-rounded meal together for her family at the end of a long day, I’d be wearing that meal, before spending the night on the couch, at my friend’s house, awaiting the subpoena.

“BE QUIET I CAN’T HEAR RESCUE BOTS!”
If I said this to any grown adult, they’d have a series of reactions: First, they’d wonder what the hell “Rescue Bots” is. Second, they’d wonder why a 40-year-old man is watching a children’s cartoon. Third, they’d wonder why I even invited them over to my house if I was going to watch a children’s cartoon the entire time they were there. And fourth, they’d pop me in the jaw for being such a rude jerk, before leaving with the six-pack and/or bottle of wine they’d brought over. When my five-year-old says it, we simply quiet down.

“My penis is wet!”
I’m not sure this requires a response from me. At least, I sure as hell hope not. But when an adult says it, everybody backs away. Take my word for it?

*unintelligible screaming*
If any of us threw tantrums like our children, we’d be in padded rooms by now. Come to think of it, some days, I kind of wish I were. Maybe I could get some sleep!

“Can someone wipe my butt?”
And you thought being a parent was glamorous.

“That’s mine! You can’t have it!”
Pretty sure we’re all guilty of screaming this in our heads once in a while. I know I do every time my wife swipes one of my IPAs. But as with so many other parts of adulthood, it’s something we have to stop ourselves from saying, lest people think that we only recently transformed into Tom Hanks after making a wish at a carnival. Kids, of course, are allowed to be petulant and spoiled, at least for a little while. There are a few adults who can get away with this, but I hate to keep mentioning Donald Trump.parenting, dad and buried, ecard, wordless wednesday, parenthood, dads, moms, babies, kids, children, funny, humor, dad bloggers, mommy bloggers, baby names, family

“I don’t like you.”
Another one that we all probably think. Maybe even about our own spouses, certainly about our bosses, frequently about coworkers, and always about the guy on the subway who manspreads to take up two seats. But to actually say it? Right to someone’s face? That’s cold-blooded. Kids have no fear. My son tells me “I don’t like you” on a regular basis – pretty much any time I tell him “no” or “maybe” or “in a few minutes” — and the worst part is: he doesn’t even say it to be mean! He just says it matter-of-factly, because that just happens to be the way it is. He doesn’t like me and there’s nothing I can do about it.

But the joke’s on him, because there is something I can do about it. I can get really, really drunk.

Beer doesn’t talk back.

This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy.


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4,944 thoughts on “Things Only Kids Can Say”

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    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically
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    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting it big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game
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    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the desert gods will finally throw me
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    spinning again at casino.

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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

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    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
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    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to
    sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always lurking around, practically looking over my shoulder – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a lucky streak.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where
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    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you wonder,
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    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I still find myself drawn to
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    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am,
    spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my nocturnal habits)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a simple method to pass the long, heated hours, but
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  99. Another scorching night here, the kind where
    the air itself feels like it’s placing bets against you.

    I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my nighttime escape when the heat finally backs off
    a little.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool
    breeze in the daytime. My balance is looking precariously
    small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically breathing down my neck – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly winning big.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves you empty-handed.
    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he
    looks at my wife when she’s not looking. Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those sweet symbols that keeps
    me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the desert gods will
    finally throw me a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.
    Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a handy option to pass the hot evenings, but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s
    worth the risk. Especially with everything
    else going on.

    Reply

  100. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s suffocating you.
    I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my nighttime escape when the heat finally
    subsides.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is looking
    precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the
    wife finding out than the actual games. She’s been giving me that look,
    you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always lurking around, practically
    shadowing me – he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing?
    He’s constantly on a lucky streak. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2,
    even that crazy aviator_game where the plane flies off with all your hopes.

    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me a
    bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am,
    spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is enough to make you quit
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Divided. It’s a convenient way to pass the long, heated hours,
    but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth
    the risk. Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  101. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s
    weighing you down. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually
    my after-dark refuge when the heat finally
    subsides.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the
    daytime. My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the
    actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always
    hanging about, practically looking over my shoulder – he’s always on here
    too. And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a lucky streak.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves
    you empty-handed. He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not
    looking. Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the desert gods will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I
    am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my nocturnal habits)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and
    relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a simple method to pass the sweltering nights,
    but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth the risk.
    Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  102. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels
    like it’s suffocating you. I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my evening ritual when the heat
    finally subsides.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been like finding water in the desert.

    My balance is looking thinner than my patience, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always sticking
    close, practically looking over my shoulder – he’s
    always on here too. And the infuriating thing?
    He’s constantly winning big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2,
    even that crazy aviator_game where the plane
    flies off with all your hopes. He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s
    not looking. Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those colorful candies
    that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw
    me a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.
    Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a handy option to pass the hot evenings, but
    my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s
    worth the risk. Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  103. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s suffocating
    you. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my after-dark refuge when the heat finally backs off
    a little.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.

    My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to
    sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically shadowing me
    – he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing?
    He’s constantly winning big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane flies
    off with all your hopes. He even brags about his
    wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you
    wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not
    looking. Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.

    There’s something about those sweet symbols that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers
    aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I
    am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and
    relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a handy option to pass the long, heated hours, but my recent
    experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth
    the risk. Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  104. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s weighing you down. I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my nighttime escape when the heat finally relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is looking precariously small,
    and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.

    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘friend” – the one who’s always hanging about,
    practically breathing down my neck – he’s always on here too.

    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting it
    big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane flies off
    with all your hopes. He even brags about his wins
    on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him. Makes
    you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks
    at my wife when she’s not looking. Makes a man uneasy, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I still
    find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps
    me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will
    finally throw me a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.

    Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my real-life budget and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a simple method to pass the sweltering nights, but my recent
    experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth the risk.

    Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  105. Another blistering night here, the kind where
    the air itself feels like it’s weighing you
    down. I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my nighttime escape when the heat finally backs off a little.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze
    in the daytime. My balance is looking precariously small,
    and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the
    actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always sticking close,
    practically looking over my shoulder – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting it
    big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy
    aviator_game where the plane leaves you empty-handed.
    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you wonder, doesn’t
    it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find
    myself drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those sugary treats that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way,
    here I am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my real-life budget and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a simple method to pass the sweltering nights, but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth the risk.
    Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  107. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air
    itself feels like it’s suffocating you. I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my nighttime escape when the heat finally relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.
    My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘friend” – the one who’s always lurking around, practically breathing down my neck – he’s
    always on here too. And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly
    hitting it big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy
    aviator_game where the plane takes your money and runs.
    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those sweet symbols
    that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the desert gods will finally throw me
    a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.
    Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is enough to make you quit
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a simple method to pass the long, heated
    hours, but my recent experiences and observations are making
    me seriously question if it’s worth the risk.
    Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  108. Another scorching night here, the kind where
    the air itself feels like it’s weighing you down.
    I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my evening ritual when the heat finally relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.
    My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more
    about the wife finding out than the actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always lurking around,
    practically shadowing me – he’s always on here
    too. And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a lucky streak.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where
    the plane flies off with all your hopes. He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him. Makes you wonder,
    doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself
    drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps
    me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling
    my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am,
    spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my nocturnal habits)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a simple method to pass the long, heated
    hours, but my recent experiences and observations
    are making me seriously question if it’s worth the risk.

    Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  109. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s suffocating you.

    I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my nighttime
    escape when the heat finally relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is looking thinner than my
    patience, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always hanging about, practically looking over my shoulder – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting
    it big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game
    where the plane takes your money and runs. He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and
    slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I
    still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those sweet symbols
    that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me
    a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.
    Either way, here I am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is enough to make you quit
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a convenient way to pass the hot evenings, but my recent experiences and observations are making
    me seriously question if it’s worth the risk. Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  110. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s weighing you down. I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my nighttime escape when the heat finally subsides.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been like finding water in the desert.
    My balance is looking dangerously low, and I’m starting
    to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always lurking
    around, practically looking over my shoulder – he’s always on here too.

    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a lucky streak.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy
    aviator_game where the plane flies off with all your hopes.

    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is playing favorites. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those sweet symbols that keeps
    me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me a bone.

    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my nocturnal habits)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is enough to make you quit
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a convenient way to pass the hot evenings, but my
    recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth the risk.
    Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  111. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself
    feels like it’s weighing you down. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my evening ritual when the heat finally
    relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is looking
    dangerously low, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding
    out than the actual games. She’s been giving
    me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always sticking close,
    practically shadowing me – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly winning big.

    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves
    you empty-handed. He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him. Makes you
    wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.

    There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps me clicking,
    even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the desert gods will finally throw me a
    bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and
    relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a handy option to pass the long, heated hours, but my recent experiences and
    observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth
    the risk. Especially with everything else going
    on.

    Reply

  112. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s
    weighing you down. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my after-dark refuge when the heat finally backs off a little.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.
    My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m
    starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.

    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always hanging
    about, practically looking over my shoulder – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting it big.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane flies off with all your hopes.
    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is playing favorites. Makes you wonder,
    doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man uneasy, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness,
    I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.

    There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps me clicking, even when the
    numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw
    me a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.
    Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a convenient way to pass the long, heated hours,
    but my recent experiences and observations are making
    me seriously question if it’s worth the risk. Especially
    with everything else going on.

    Reply

  113. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like
    it’s weighing you down. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my evening ritual when the heat
    finally subsides.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.
    My balance is looking thinner than my patience,
    and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding
    out than the actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always lurking around,
    practically shadowing me – he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing?
    He’s constantly winning big. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane takes
    your money and runs. He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and
    slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is playing favorites.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my
    wife when she’s not looking. Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I
    still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those sweet symbols that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my
    way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am, spinning again at
    sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a simple method to pass the hot evenings,
    but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s
    worth the risk. Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

  115. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s suffocating you.
    I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually
    my evening ritual when the heat finally relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.
    My balance is looking thinner than my patience,
    and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always lurking around, practically shadowing me
    – he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a
    lucky streak. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where
    the plane leaves you empty-handed. He even brags about his
    wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks
    at my wife when she’s not looking. Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.

    There’s something about those sugary treats that keeps me clicking,
    even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me
    a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw
    me out. Either way, here I am, spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a simple method to pass the
    hot evenings, but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously
    question if it’s worth the risk. Especially with everything else going
    on.

    Reply

  116. Another scorching night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s suffocating you.
    I found myself logged into casino again. It’s usually my after-dark refuge when the heat
    finally backs off a little.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife
    finding out than the actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically
    shadowing me – he’s always on here too. And
    the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a lucky streak.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game
    where the plane takes your money and runs. He
    even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man uneasy, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness,
    I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those sugary treats that keeps
    me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally
    throw me a bone. Or maybe my wife will just throw me out.

    Either way, here I am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem
    to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I
    genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Torn. It’s a convenient way to pass the long, heated hours,
    but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if it’s worth the
    risk. Especially with everything else going on.

    Reply

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  119. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s
    weighing you down. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my evening ritual when the heat finally backs off a little.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool breeze in the daytime.
    My balance is looking dangerously low, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding
    out than the actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always sticking close,
    practically breathing down my neck – he’s always on here
    too. And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting it big.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that
    crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves you empty-handed.

    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him. Makes you
    wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still
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    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
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    Pros:
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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely
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    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

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    Reply

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  140. Another scorching night here, the kind where the air itself
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    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

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    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I
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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

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    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

    Overall: Divided. It’s a simple method to pass the hot evenings, but my recent
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  141. Another scorching night here, the kind where the air itself feels
    like it’s suffocating you. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my evening
    ritual when the heat finally subsides.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been like finding water in the
    desert. My balance is looking thinner than my patience, and I’m
    starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.

    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘friend” – the one who’s always sticking close, practically shadowing me – he’s always on here too.
    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly hitting it big.
    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2,
    even that crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves you empty-handed.
    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you
    wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.

    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those sweet symbols
    that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me a bone.
    Or maybe my wife will just throw me out. Either way, here I am,
    spinning again at casino.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my late-night sessions)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

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  142. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s weighing you down. I found myself
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    relents.

    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far
    between. My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always lurking around, practically breathing down my
    neck – he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing?
    He’s constantly on a lucky streak. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that
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    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is has a soft spot for him.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way
    he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.

    Makes a man paranoid, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
    There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps me clicking,
    even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the desert gods
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    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been awful recently
    Seeing him win constantly is enough to make you quit
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a convenient way to pass the hot evenings, but my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously
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  148. Another sweltering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s weighing you down. I found myself logged
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    My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting
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    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always hanging about, practically looking
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    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is playing favorites. Makes you wonder,
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    Pros:
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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is enough to make you quit
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Divided. It’s a convenient way to pass the hot evenings, but
    my recent experiences and observations are making me seriously question if
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    to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘friend” – the one who’s always sticking close,
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    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically shadowing me –
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    It’s like this place is playing favorites.
    Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
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    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just addiction, I still find myself drawn to
    favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those colorful candies that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me
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    Either way, here I am, spinning again at sportsbook.

    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my nocturnal habits)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor
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    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
    Starting to seriously impact my real-life budget and relationships

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  157. Another blistering night here, the kind where the air itself feels like it’s weighing you down. I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my evening ritual when the heat finally
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    Honestly, lately, the wins have been rarer than a cool
    breeze in the daytime. My balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.

    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always hanging about, practically shadowing me –
    he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing?

    He’s constantly on a lucky streak. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves you empty-handed.
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    It’s like this place is playing favorites. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness, I still find
    myself drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those sweet symbols that keeps me clicking,
    even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me a bone.

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    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely
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    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my real-life budget and
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    Overall: Torn. It’s a simple method to pass the long, heated hours, but
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  158. Another scorching night here, the kind where the
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    know?

    My so-called ‘mate’ – the one who’s always hanging about, practically
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    And the infuriating thing? He’s constantly on a lucky streak.
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    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

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    Makes a man uneasy, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I still
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    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods
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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

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    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
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    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My balance is
    looking dangerously low, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the actual games.

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    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically shadowing me – he’s always on here
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    Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the
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    It’s like this place is rigged in his favor. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is maddening
    Starting to seriously impact my real-life budget and relationships

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    I found myself logged into sportsbook again. It’s usually my after-dark
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    Honestly, lately, the wins have been few and far between. My
    balance is looking precariously small, and I’m starting to sweat more about the wife finding out than the
    actual games. She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always sticking close, practically looking over my shoulder
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    He’s constantly on a lucky streak. Slots like slot_game_1 and slot_game_2, even that crazy aviator_game where the plane leaves
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    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man uneasy, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just stubbornness, I still find myself drawn to favorite_slot_game.
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    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the luck gods will finally throw me a bone.
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    Pros:
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    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

    Overall: Undecided. It’s a convenient way to pass the long,
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    more about the wife finding out than the actual games.
    She’s been giving me that look, you know?

    My so-called ‘buddy’ – the one who’s always hanging about, practically shadowing me
    – he’s always on here too. And the infuriating thing?
    He’s constantly on a lucky streak. Slots like slot_game_1 and
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    He even brags about his wins on slot_game_3 and slot_game_4.

    It’s like this place is playing favorites. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

    Especially with the way he looks at my wife when she’s not looking.
    Makes a man suspicious, this heat does.

    Despite all that, and maybe it’s just foolish hope, I still find
    myself drawn to favorite_slot_game. There’s something about those sugary
    treats that keeps me clicking, even when the numbers aren’t falling my way.

    Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe the gaming spirits will finally throw me a bone.
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    Pros:
    Available 24/7 (perfect for my night owl tendencies)
    Wide variety of games (even if some seem to favor certain people)
    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

    Cons:
    My personal luck here has been terrible lately
    Seeing him win constantly is incredibly frustrating
    Starting to seriously impact my household money and relationships

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    They do have favorite_slot_game, which I genuinely enjoy

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    My personal luck here has been incredibly bad
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    Starting to seriously impact my finances at home and relationships

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