15 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning 5 comments

With a Little Help from My Superfriends

I want my son to like superheroes.

I don’t much care if he gets into comics or not; I never did and it didn’t stop me from digging the heroes they created. Besides, if anything, today’s superhero-saturated culture makes it easier than ever to get exposed to comic book characters without actually reading comic books. And I’m not worried that my son won’t go through a superhero phase at some point. He’s a little boy; whether caused nature (genetics), nurture (my guidance), their sheer prevalence in today’s pop culture or just the natural law of childhood, it seems pretty likely that he will. I certainly won’t stop him.

But I may try to steer him towards one superhero in particular…

10 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear One comment

The Fast and the Furious

It’s one of the cliches of parenting that kids grow up fast. One minute you’re dreading dealing with diapers, the next you’re teaching them how to drive their flying cars (these have gotta happen eventually, right?).

Not only is everyone aware of this belief, pretty much everyone accepts it as well, whether they have kids themselves or not. Of course, once someone does have kids it’s no longer just a belief; it becomes immediately apparent that the cliche is 100% true. So much so that that terrible sitcom convention – wherein an older couple suddenly decides they want a new baby, usually after the mom is exposed to someone else’s kid (and always because the show needs an infusion of cute) – suddenly makes perfect sense.

Except Oliver. That kid sucked.

07 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 2 comments

My Prediction? PAIN.

My son is a real baby.

Of course, by developmental standards, he’s not a baby anymore. He can “walk” and “talk” and understand things like a toddler, and he’s definitely not the size of a baby, except maybe those fat asses you see on Maury Povich and Jerry Springer. When you measure by those benchmarks, he’s a toddler.

But if you measure by his ability to withstand pain? He’s a baby, through and through.

Read more about My Prediction? PAIN. …

01 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 2 comments

Separation Insanity

On Monday, we dropped our kid off at his first daycare session. There was a fair amount of screaming, quite a bit of crying and a desperate need for some hand-holding.

And that was just my wife. Rimshot!

Feign Delay

I am not a “joiner.” I don’t really “participate.” I can’t feign enthusiasm so if I’m not feeling it, you’re not seeing any. Unless I’m drunk.

When I’m sober, you may be able to make me do something (depending on your level of authority) but you can’t make me pretend I want to do it. I’m looking at you, North Carolina State Trooper Jurgenson.

Such rebellion can be fun and empowering, and might even occasionally bear a whiff of integrity. But as a father, it can seem more like vanity, and it has the potential to create issues with your kids. Because when you’re a parent you’re going to be forced to do things you don’t necessarily want to do, and faking it won’t work. You can’t fool children, no matter how big a fake smile you wear, and the last thing I ever want is for my son to think I would rather be doing anything else but spend time with him.

Which is how I recently found myself making animal noises and pretending to be a horse and shaking maracas and singing like a frog. All with a big, genuine smile on my face.

Dad and Buried

Category: Learning

With a Little Help from My Superfriends

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The Fast and the Furious

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My Prediction? PAIN.

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Separation Insanity

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Feign Delay

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