04 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 3 comments

In Defense of “Because I Said So”

Last week, a friend of mine wrote a nice little post about a subject that’s dear to my heart. He had me at the title: It’s Not Just a Phase. Kids are Assholes. They sure are!

Unfortunately, despite our affinity for insulting our children, I have to take issue with one thing he said in his piece. I quote: “‘Because I said so’ is the phrase of a lazy parent…”

Ahem. I know lazy parents. Lazy parents are friends of mine. In fact, I am a lazy parent.

“Because I said so” is not lazy parenting. Not all the time.

25 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 3 comments

Growing Up (Not So) Fast

It’s rare to find a parent who didn’t measure the passage of time by juxtaposing pictures of their kid’s first day of school in September with their kid’s last day of school in June.

And then, with a mixture of pride (“He did it!”) and petulance (“He’s growing up too fast!”), they bemoan the passage of time, whine about how fast it’s all going, and bitch about how quickly kids grow up.

I call bullshit.

19 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning 8 comments

Crying in Baseball

Sometimes it’s hard to believe how quickly your kid is growing up.

Detective Munch has his last day of preschool today (he can have the ceremony, he can get the diploma, but I’ll be dead in the cold cold ground before I refer to it as graduation!) In September he’ll start Kindergarten, and he can already hold actual conversations and ride a bike and dress himself and brush his own teeth (each with varying degrees of success, but with enough general success that I’m counting them all). He’s still far from being a young man, or even truly independent in any way, but he’s definitely getting there.

At least I thought he was, until I watched him play tee-ball. Because guess what? Turns out there may be no crying in baseball, but there’s plenty in tee-ball.

Fun with Discipline

Disciplining your children can be hard. But with the right attitude, disciplining your children can be a laugh riot!

I love putting my son in time-out, not letting him stay up any later, taking things away from him. Not food or shelter or love (I’m an asshole, not a psychopath!), but toys, and TV, and the other little perks of childhood. I don’t do it to instill values or help make him appreciate what he already has. I don’t even do it because he’s so spoiled already that it serves as a nice change of pace.

While those benefits are all well and good, I like depriving my son of the things he wants because it’s funny and it makes me feel better.

The Truth Hurts

“If you want the unvarnished truth, ask a child.”

So the saying goes, and it’s true. In fact, you don’t even have to bother asking. A child will come up to you, unprompted, and lay you bare in an instant, without a second thought, without even bothering to look back at the mound of ash left in his wake.

Why is honesty a virtue again? I don’t want my kid to be a liar, but a little bit of tact wouldn’t kill anybody. (Especially me. I’m really fragile right now.)

Dad and Buried

Category: Learning

In Defense of “Because I Said So”

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Growing Up (Not So) Fast

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Crying in Baseball

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Fun with Discipline

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The Truth Hurts

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