28 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 19 comments

For Multiple Reasons

I have to correct something today.

The last ten months have been rough. The pregnancy was challenging and inconvenient for everyone, but for my wife it was excruciating. It took a toll on her, both physically and emotionally. She powered through, of course, because that’s what she does.

Unfortunately, lost in all the well-wishes for our new addition, forgotten amidst all the accolades about how adorable the new baby is, and how handsome he is, and how – apropos of nothing – he looks EXACTLY like me (score!), is a little recognition for Mom and Buried.

For multiple reasons.

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05 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Eating No comments

Sympathy Pain

My wife is pregnant. Capital-P pregnant. Like, nearly ten months, ready to burst, hating life, “why did I do this?” pregnant.

I am not pregnant. But, out of solidarity, I spent the holidays doing my best to make it seem like I was. Because I’m a good husband.

And a stupid idiot.

The Vengeful Wife’s Holiday Gift Guide

Moms, I know you love your kids. But don’t you kind of wish you didn’t have to go through pregnancy to get them? I know you love your husbands too, but isn’t it frustrating that they don’t have to experience the grueling marathon of labor?

Damn right it is.

Mom and Buried is at the tail end of a grueling year, and (after you take into account her irresistible looks) she has no one to blame for it but the guy who knocked her up. I know how hard the last nine months have been on Mom and Buried, so you can’t tell me she wouldn’t love a little revenge. I bet you all would.

This holiday season, you’re in luck!

14 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in holidays 2 comments

The Twelve-Hundred Movies of Christmas

My dad loves fantasy movies.

He loves them so much that it doesn’t matter how bad they are, how low-rent the production is, how terrible the cast is or how pitifully stupid they end up being. If there’s a dragon or some magic involved, he’s in. No questions asked.

My wife is the same way with movies about Christmas. And there are a LOT of them.

09 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in ECard No comments

Not-so-silent Night

I’m no stranger to giving passive-aggressive gifts to subtly – or not – display my true feelings.

But my in-laws don’t play.

Thanks to the gift they got for my son, Christmas will be a not-so-silent night this year.

Dad and Buried

Category: marriage

For Multiple Reasons

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Sympathy Pain

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The Vengeful Wife’s Holiday Gift Guide

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The Twelve-Hundred Movies of Christmas

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Not-so-silent Night

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