I love my kids, I just hate parenting
It’s so much easier to be fat.
Okay, maybe it’s not easier to actually BE fat. But it’s definitely easier to GET fat.
And it’s a definitely piece of cake (or three) to let your kids get fat. Feeding them is headache enough even when it’s food they like, but you start putting nutrition into the mix and it becomes [insert hilarious Hunger Games reference here].
It’s so much easier to just let him have the damn french fries again.
I’m almost officially two years into my gig as a dad, and I think it’s pretty safe to say I am DOMINATING the category. If this were the Olympics I’d be like the U.S. Women, mostly that chick that shoots them skeets real good.
Seriously, three questions this week! My authority is being recognized!
(Recognize my authority at your own risk, right here.)
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 5 …
A tad harsh? Maybe. Funny as hell? Definitely. I mean, that punch. Wow! Source: East Flats Films
This Fourth of July, Mom and Buried and I are faced with a bit of a dilemma. The same one we are faced with everyday, really.
We want to celebrate our country’s birth in style by getting drunk out of our minds.
But we have a kid. They should call it “Lack of Independence Day”.
When you have a young kid, a baby monitor is essential.
Even with our son nearly two and (knock on wood) past the danger zone of accidentally suffocating himself on a bumper or a stuffed animal, the monitor remains a crucial piece of equipment. It allows us to have peace of mind while our kid sleeps in the other room. We are able to have a drink(s), watch a movie, go to sleep, comfortable in the fact that if he wakes up or needs something, we’ll hear him through the monitor.
I don’t even use an alarm clock anymore, secure in the fact that my son will wake me up WELL BEFORE I need to get up for work. It’s foolproof.
Unless the monitor stops working. Then things can get scary.