18 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 2 comments

Empty Parenting Threats

When it comes to getting your kids to do something they don’t want to do, there are basically three tactics you can employ: bribery, threats, and just giving up and doing it for them.

Doing it for them is obviously not the way to go. Detective Munch is lazy enough as it is; if I were to start waiting on him hand and foot (or waiting on him even more, which I guess would make it waiting on him hands and feet? COMEDY GOLD!), he’d probably end up with bed sores.

As most parents already know, bribery is a double-edged sword. It works, but you’re gonna pay for it down the line when the kid refuses to get out of bed without the promise of a new toy or some TV time, and eventually you’re buying him a new car just to get him to go to college.

Which leaves us with threats.

14 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 23 comments

Categorically Opposed

Recently, Target announced that they’d be doing away with gender-categorizations in their children’s sections. This made a lot of people happy and a lot of people angry.

I am torn between being baffled by the anger and totally understanding it. Not because I agree with it (most of the angry people seem to think Target has a nefarious agenda, which: CUCKOO!) but because I get where those people are coming from, at least on one level: human beings love labels.

Labels are comforting. Nothing scares us like stuff we don’t understand, and labels help us understand things.

My son is white. He is male. He is an American. He may be straight or gay, he may be religious or not, he may be liberal or conservative. But if I have my way, he’ll be none of those things.

He’ll just be a human being, like everyone else.

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12 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 4 comments

Bummer Camp

Back in the summer of 1986, my older brother and I attended a sleep-away camp. He was twelve and going with a friend. I was only nine, but after going along on a reconnaissance mission earlier that year, I had decided I wanted to attend the camp too.

It was two weeks long, in some far off part of Connecticut (as far off as you can get in a state as small as Connecticut) and for some reason we would be joining the camp in the middle of the summer session.

It was my first time, and for reasons that will quickly become obvious, my last time, at sleep-away camp.

[Guest Post] “Claire and the Beast” Giveaway

So I have this annoying friend.

He’s also ambitious and prolific. Which is what makes him so annoying. He’s constantly writing and drawing and illustrating and just generally striving, mostly in between mind-numbing meetings at his high-powered job. All that’s on top of living with two kids and what simply has to be a really understanding wife. Like, supernaturally understanding.

This Renaissance man’s name is Joel Bernard, and he recently completed one of his many projects! It’s a children’s book he wrote and illustrated himself. This endeavor took two years, and if the following post is to be believed, a fair amount of hand-wringing. But he did it, and he’s just now starting to put it out there into the world.

He’s written a guest post (he somehow doesn’t have a blog of his own) about this new book, why he wrote it, and why he’s so annoying and stuff. Check it out; not only is his post funny and probably meaningful (I haven’t actually read it), there’s a chance for you to win a signed, hardcover copy of his new book at the end!

07 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in Judgment 12 comments

You’re a Good Parent

I don’t know you. And I don’t know your kids.

I have no idea what they’re like, how they act in public, at restaurants, in movie theaters. I don’t know if they have good manners, if they curse, if they listen to you more than they don’t, if they eat their dinners without argument and clean their rooms when asked.

I’ve never met you and probably never will. I couldn’t pick you out in a lineup. (I hope you’re not in any line-ups.) I don’t know if you’re quick to yell, or if you’re lazy, or if you’re neglectful.

But that doesn’t matter. I know you’re a good parent.

Read more about You’re a Good Parent …

Dad and Buried

Empty Parenting Threats

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Categorically Opposed

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Bummer Camp

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[Guest Post] “Claire and the Beast” Giveaway

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You’re a Good Parent

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