You Threatenin’ Me?

You Threatenin’ Me?

Despite the fact that I could quote Cape Fear ALL DAY LONG and just pretend I’m having a conversation with my toddler —

“I can out-learn you. I can out-read you. I can out-think you. I can out-philosophize you. And I’m gonna outlast you! ”

— that’s not what the title of this post refers to.

This post is about Other Parents and the way they use their experiences to scare you.

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Last Minute Mother’s Day Gift: Storypanda Books

Last Minute Mother’s Day Gift: Storypanda Books

I’ve never done this before.

I’ve never used my blog to promote a product. There just aren’t a lot of kids’ products I’m comfortable plugging.

But I got an opportunity to explore Storypanda’s interactive children’s stories for the iPad (soon to be offered for Android devices), and as someone who is sick to death of reading “Llama Llama Red Pajama” to my kid, I’m going to make an exception, just in time for Mother’s Day!

Translation: I dropped the ball on my present and this is an easy fix.

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A Letter to My Son Regarding Mother’s Day

A Letter to My Son Regarding Mother’s Day

Dear Detective Munch,

It’s time to start pulling your weight.

Don’t worry; I’m not going to make you get a job. You’re only two and a half! The whole talking thing is still new to you (though you have screaming down pat, unfortunately), never mind following orders. Besides, there are laws that prevent it.

But at two years old there are some things you can – nay, must – do, and celebrating Mother’s Day is one of them.

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Zombie Post: From the Mouths of (Those Without) Babes

Zombie Post: From the Mouths of (Those Without) Babes

Yesterday, I wrote about the idiotic gulf that exists between people who have kids and people who don’t. There’s no reason we parents can’t get along with the childless; if I didn’t have childless friends, I’d never be able to escape my own kid! But a year ago, I discussed the one thing in particularRead more about Zombie Post: From the Mouths of (Those Without) Babes[…]

No Kids is Alright

No Kids is Alright

Having kids is not for everyone. After reading my blog, some people might even say it’s not for me. (Some people even have, god bless ’em!)

There are moments when I wonder if it’s right for me, usually when my son is screaming about something and we’re out of beer. But those moments are fleeting.

I’ve always known I wanted to have kids, though I suppose it can be tough to know whether that was a true desire or the kind of checkpoint-based “maturity” and conformity Tyler Durden was so angry about (i.e., it’s just what you do). Fortunately, I knew I’d made the right choice when my son was born and I didn’t have even the slightest urge to split, and that choice is validated every day.

But it is a choice. And there’s nothing wrong with making a different one.

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