16
Dec
Welcome to the Christmas Party, Pal!
I’m not going to have the “is DIE HARD a Christmas movie” debate because there is no debate.
DIE HARD IS 100% A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.
Tag: Die Hard
06
Feb
Parental Advisories: Solicitation Wednesday!
Can you do me a favor?
I know: What have I done for you lately? Nothing. And that’s not likely to change anytime soon. Not without your help!
A few months ago, I got so sick of only answering my wife’s questions incorrectly that I wanted to open my idiocy up to the rest of the world. So I started an advice column called “Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed!” because I have a thing for making irrelevant movie references.
Unfortunately, my advice was either so perfect that everyone’s problems were solved, or it was so terrible that no one else wanted to ask me anything. But I forgive you. And I’m giving you another chance.
Read more about Parental Advisories: Solicitation Wednesday! …
28
Nov
Kids are Sponges
“Little kids are sponges.”
You hear it all the time, and it’s true. My son’s vocabulary increases every day, and most of what he’s learning he gets right from Mom and Dad, such as his first “curse” word, the relatively innocuous “dammit!” Needless to say, we’ve had to become a lot more careful about the words we use. It’s a bit of a pain.
But there’s a flip side to that coin. Sure, he parrots a lot of stuff we don’t even realize we’ve said around him, or don’t necessarily want him to be saying, but we can also train him to provide some entertainment. For example…
07
Sep
Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 5
I’m almost officially two years into my gig as a dad, and I think it’s pretty safe to say I am DOMINATING the category. If this were the Olympics I’d be like the U.S. Women, mostly that chick that shoots them skeets real good.
Seriously, three questions this week! My authority is being recognized!
(Recognize my authority at your own risk, right here.)
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 5 …
09
May
Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed!
It’s been a few weeks since I offered up my services as a parent whisperer. Despite my constant ranting against the idea of parental expertise and the superiority complexes of the Other Parent, I still feel confident that I am the one true parenting expert and am better at it than anyone else on earth.
Unfortunately I haven’t had any opportunities to display this prowess, as no one has submitted any questions to my blog’s new advice section.
But I’m no lazybones. So instead of waiting for all of the ill-equipped, terrible, surely-raising-the-next-Hitler-via-their-dumbass-parenting parents out there to email me with questions, I’m making up some of my own. And signing them as only John McClane would.