Parental Guidance is Annoying

Parental Guidance is Annoying

Parents and children have different perspectives.

This is obvious when you’re a kid, particularly a teenager, because parents just don’t understand. But it becomes even more obvious, blindingly obvious, when you become a parent. Suddenly, parental guidance isn’t just a hassle, it’s your daily responsibility!

We usually don’t want the same things that our kids do. There is some overlap: we want them to be happy, to have fun, to be healthy, and they, presumably, want those things too. But we have different definitions of those things, and different methods for achieving them.

Which means that some of the things that make us good parents also make us bad ones, in our kids’ eyes.

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Drum Major

Drum Major

Christmas is coming, which gives us all a chance to show our families and friends how much we love them through the joyful act of giving, and receiving, gifts.

It also allows the cruel and vindictive people in our lives to torture us by gleefully providing our children with terrible, terrible toys, whether they’re loud, include hundreds of tiny pieces, require hours of manual labor to assemble, or are just plain annoying.

Sometimes, we parents even do it to ourselves, because indulging our kids is part of the deal. But even so, that doesn’t mean we can’t hold a grudge against the people who created some of these infernal toys to begin with. Which is what I’m about to do.

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How to Distract Kids From “President Donald Trump”

How to Distract Kids From “President Donald Trump”

There are a lot of posts going around from shell-shocked, well-meaning parents, discussing ways to talk to our kids about the fact that Donald Trump was elected President. (This is a good one.) There’s much to unpack: how he won, why he won, what this means for the future of our country, what it means about the present of our country, etc.

I have no answers to any of that (except the last one: there are a lot of ignorant and/or racist and/or misogynistic and/or short-sighted people in America). My oldest is only six years old, and while Detective Munch may not know much about politics or elections, he knows a bully when he sees one. He knows Trump is a mean, angry name-caller, even without the “benefit” of understanding the constant bigotry, misogyny, and xenophobia that comes out his mouth.

What he doesn’t know is why the country would elect someone like Donald Trump to lead it. And neither do I. So I’m not going to bother trying.

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Kids Are Brats Sometimes

Kids Are Brats Sometimes

I’m not one to mince words or make excuses. I never have been, and that didn’t change when I became a parent.

This is why I often find it irritating to hear all the ways parents try to avoid blaming their kids for bad behavior. This is aside from the fact that most other parents, and other parents’ children, are irritating to begin with! (No offense, fellow parents. I barely like myself when I’m parenting. It’s not really a good look on anyone.)

Sure, we all make excuses for our kids from time to time, and some of them are warranted – even necessary. Kids are kids. I’m 40, and not only do I struggle to contain my emotions half the time (especially while watching football or when my 5-year-old wakes me up at 2 a.m. by jumping onto my crotch), I also barely know what I’m doing half the time. I certainly don’t expect my children to have a handle on themselves.

But that doesn’t mean they get a pass. That doesn’t mean that every time they misbehave it needs to be rationalized.

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Vacationing with Kids

Vacationing with Kids

I’d like to say that it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’d be lying.

I’ve gone on vacations with my kids before. (Well, with my lone kid. The second one is brand new.) And while they’ve been fun, they don’t exactly qualify as vacations. Vacations are meant to be about relaxation, and recharging, maybe some reading, and maybe getting some extra rest. Vacationing with kids is a different thing entirely.

This past spring, when I took my 5-year-old and my 3-month-old on our first family-of-four vacation, I was not anticipating much in the way of relaxation. (I’m not really anticipating either of those things ever again.)

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