02 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 3 comments

Woman Up!

My son loves riding the merry-go-round at our local park.

He used to prefer the stationary animals, or even one of the stupid sled things, but as he’s become more enamored with the carousel he’s graduated to the real shit: the animals that slide up and down. I’m glad; there’s little point in even going on the thing if you’re not on one of those.

On our latest trip, I saw that my wife was letting our son ride some overgrown cat thing all by himself. And she chose to ride the animal next to him, rather than stand at his side to make sure he didn’t fall off! I sat on the sidelines (I chose the bench outside because going in circles makes my tummy hurt), panicking as my moron of a son repeatedly took one hand off the pole to wave at me as he went by. Meanwhile, Mom and Buried wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

I need to woman up. My wife has bigger balls than me.

Dads Blog the Darndest Things

I hate being a dad. Sometimes.

You know this; you’ve read my blog.

Hopefully, you’ve also understood my blog. And you know what “sometimes” means. And you understand that even when I hate being a dad, I still love it.

Not everyone understands my blog.

19 Jul

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning 2 comments

The Negotiator

My son is developing at an incredible rate.

He’s getting taller, his hair is getting longer, his vocabulary is increasing. But even more impressively, he’s already picking up skills most of us don’t use until later in life. Skills like arguing, sarcasm, and, most frustratingly, negotiation.

At the young age of not-even-three, my innocent child is becoming a slick little deal-maker. It’s enough to make me ~~sick~~ proud.

Dream Cheater

I recently read Keith Richards’s autobiography. I read it to learn more about the recording of some of his band’s seminal albums, and about how he survived doing so many drugs but it got me thinking about what I would do if my son decided to he wanted to be an axman. While describing his childhood, Keith never really discusses what his parents thought of his choice of career, making it seem like they were just bystanders while he chased his dream. Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t, maybe he doesn’t remember their names. But it got me thinking.

I don’t yet know what my son’s dreams will be, but I plan to support them as best I can. The thing is, as a parent I’m sure to have a different perspective on his life and his dreams than he does. Mostly because, by virtue of being older and having lived more life, I have some perspective – which can be both valuable and damaging, and he doesn’t – which can also be both valuable and damaging. The young and the ~~old~~ less-young usually disagree on where the value lies.

This is a source of conflict.

Contest: Dad Jokes with Laffy Taffy!

Disclaimer: I’ve partnered with Laffy Taffy known for its deliciously stretchy, fruity flavored taffy with whimsical jokes on every wrapper to promote the Dad Joke program but all terrible jokes are my own.

There are a lot of things I want to pass down to my kids. Nothing practical, of course (we don’t do that here) but the kind of stuff that makes day to day life a little more enjoyable.

An appreciation for music, a love of reading, pop culture trivia, general laziness; the real stuff! The important things. But there’s probably nothing I could pass down that’s as essential to enjoying and surviving life as a sense of humor.

Unfortunately I may have done too good of a job.

Dad and Buried

Tag: entertainment

Woman Up!

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The Negotiator

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Contest: Dad Jokes with Laffy Taffy!

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