This Is Your Parenting On Drugs

This Is Your Parenting On Drugs

There are a lot of reasons a parent might want to lighten their load with a little help from their friends, whether said friends be alcohol, marijuana, Xanax, or boarding school. You have kids. You get it. Sometimes you need to relieve some stress. Parenting on drugs is tempting, to say the least.

I haven’t sent my kids away (yet), and I’ve never been much of a pill guy (there but for the grace of God and all). So these days I mostly drink. Kids have a tendency to make that necessary. You’re on Facebook. You get it.

There was a time — way back in college — when I might have done a little more than drink. Lately, now that the stigma is gone and the criminality is going away as well, I’m wondering if it might be time to explore a return to Honalee with everyone’s favorite magic dragon.

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Cereal Filler

Cereal Filler

The Hammer won’t eat anything.

For a while, we thought we had him with pieorogies, and pizza, and pancakes, but he soon abandoned his alliteration-based preferences and embarked on a hunger strike. Cooking food for him quickly became a chore when all he wanted was his bottle of milk.

He loves his snacks, though, and despite the fact that he has occasionally procured a potato chip or two (second kids FTW!), he mostly munches on Cheerios. And thank god, because not only does he actually eat them, they don’t require any prep!

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Sleepjacker

Sleepjacker

Everyone needs sleep. Parents more than most.

(Well, air traffic controllers more than most, probably, and, soldiers and doctors and stuff too. But parents are definitely on the list. Especially parents who happen to be military doctors turned air traffic controllers!)

We’re tired. And that’s just the way it is and always will be.

We never get enough sleep, but what if there’s a way to improve the sleep we do get?

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My Baby Fell Off the Bed and I Bet Yours Did Too

My Baby Fell Off the Bed and I Bet Yours Did Too

When my first kid was 9 months old, we went to Ireland.

We were dreading the long flight. It went fine. We were dreading the long drives around the countryside. They went fine. What we weren’t dreading was the hotel room we were staying in, or the king-sized bed we’d be sleeping in.

Little did we know that those were exactly what we should have been dreading.

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Bear Necessities

Bear Necessities

When I was a kid, I was all about chocolate.

As I’ve gotten older, not much has changed. My general snacking taste veers closer to the salty side of things (chips and dip will literally be the death of me), but if I’m having dessert? GIVE ME CHOCOLATE OR GIVE ME DEATH. (Seriously. If you bring a pie to my dinner party, don’t even get out of the car. I DON’T DO FRUIT-BASED DESSERT.)

Detective Munch is different. He loves candy! Don’t get me wrong, he loves chips too, like Daddy, but when it comes to dessert, he’s much more apt to choose sugary candy over delicious chocolate. At least, he was…

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