Be All That You Can Be (Except Any of the Following)

Be All That You Can Be (Except Any of the Following)

I’ve been writing a lot about the dreams my son may have as he grows up and the way life may dash them. But the fact is, despite how hard it is to become a rock star, or how unlikely it may be that he will be a professional athlete, if there’s one country in the world where such outlandish dreams are possible, it’s Canada.

But America ain’t bad either.

Freedom can be a dangerous thing. There are so many ways it can go wrong. In honor of Independence Day, I’ve put together a little list of things my son can be when he grows up, because of our freedom, but that I hope he doesn’t become.

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Lack of Independence Day

Lack of Independence Day

This Fourth of July, Mom and Buried and I are faced with a bit of a dilemma. The same one we are faced with everyday, really.

We want to celebrate our country’s birth in style by getting drunk out of our minds.

But we have a kid. They should call it “Lack of Independence Day”.

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