Tag: Kids

Parents are Overrated
06 Mar
Posted in discipline 16 comments

Parents are Overrated

I’m kind of a big deal. But you already knew that. I mean, I’m regularly featured on Scary Mommy.

Of course, even if I weren’t a world-renowned blogger whose diatribes about how living with children is like being in prison have been translated into multiple languages and who has subsequently been hated-on by people on multiple continents, I’d still be pretty damn important. Because I’m a parent.

And if kids are our most valuable resource, then parents are priceless.

Except we’re not. Because parents are overrated.

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I Won’t Let My Son Join the Military
02 Mar
Posted in Fear 30 comments

I Won’t Let My Son Join the Military

First things first: I support the troops; I love America and Ford and apple pie and Credence Clearwater Revival; I pledge allegiance to the flag and take my hat off during the national anthem; I hate terrorism and ISIS and think they must be stopped, somehow.

Just not by my son. I don’t want him near a military recruiting office. Not in a million years.

I won’t let my son join the military.

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Parenting Superpowers
27 Feb
Posted in Drinking 3 comments

Parenting Superpowers

I spend a lot of time complaining about all the things parenting has taken away from me. My energy, my free time, any instance of silence, the ability to open a bag of chips without a mop-headed midget running in and demanding all of them, without even knowing what they are.

But today I’m looking at the bright side.

Parenting doesn’t just take, it gives. And over the past five years, I’ve acquired some amazing talents that never would have manifested if I weren’t responsible for a child.

Because with great responsibility comes great power…

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