I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Over the weekend, my son unleashed his first swear word.
The chosen curse was “bitch!” And as far as Mom and Buried and I could tell, he didn’t direct it at anyone. He just kind of said it. And it was pretty evident that he had no idea what it meant.
But that didn’t stop the Buried household from doing some soul-searching. Nobody wants to raise an asshole.
Whenever I get down about my performance as a dad, all I need to do is take a quick run around the Internet until I find a video like this, and my spirits are immediately lifted.
I’ll bet it’ll have even you semi-decent, borderline-involved dads out there feeling better about your own shitty parenting in no time.
Merry Christmas!
I used to question my son’s commitment to good manners, and my own ability to teach them. I figured some of it is my kid’s fault – something I’m not shy about admitting – and some of it is mine and Mom and Buried’s (but mostly mine, of course).
It’s easy to agonize over how well you’re instilling this stuff, until you realize what toddlers already know:
Manners are bullshit.
As you know, I have a son. He’s three years old and I love him to death. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me that I occasionally wish had never happened to me.
This Christmas is the first time he really, truly gets it, to the point that he actively flips through circulars and points at the toys he wants added to his list (two years ago I wrote about the gifts he won’t be getting). We’re going to give him a good Christmas, and he’ll get more than he needs, much more than he deserves, and nowhere near as much as he wants.
All I want in return is a smile and some laughter and a lot less screaming. And, because I’m petty and small, I wouldn’t mind if he experienced a little bit of the frustration that the holiday season brings me.
With that in mind, I put together a list of items you can get for your young children that will give you as much joy as Christmas gives them by giving them as much aggravation as your kids sometimes give you.
Read more about The Parents’ Passive-Aggressive Holiday Gift Guide …
I don’t think I became lazy until I was a teenager. My toddler, however, has mastered it at three.
It’s a very selective laziness. He’s off the wall with energy most of the time, i.e., when you’re trying to get through the security line at the airport and he decides he wants to pretend to be The Flash; but when it’s time for him to actually do something? He’s less active than most of the people who work security at the airport.
Of course, if I had someone willing to carry me around everywhere, I’m pretty sure I’d let my legs atrophy until they melted off, so who am I to talk?