09 Jul

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 8 comments

I Don’t Use Baby Talk

Years ago, before I had kids, I was walking across a park with a friend when a little boy of about 4 or 5 wandered by. I looked at him and said, “Hello, how are you?”

Confused by my formality, the kid scrunched his face and quickly scampered away. I felt like a narc.

My friend laughed at my bizarre attempt to engage the toddler, noting that I clearly had no idea how to talk to children. He was right. Now that I have a child of my own, I know a little better.

But my approach hasn’t necessarily changed. I don’t use baby talk. Read more about I Don’t Use Baby Talk …

04 Jul

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 9 comments

Be All That You Can Be (Except Any of the Following)

I’ve been writing a lot about the dreams my son may have as he grows up and the way life may dash them. But the fact is, despite how hard it is to become a rock star, or how unlikely it may be that he will be a professional athlete, if there’s one country in the world where such outlandish dreams are possible, it’s Canada.

But America ain’t bad either.

Freedom can be a dangerous thing. There are so many ways it can go wrong. In honor of Independence Day, I’ve put together a little list of things my son can be when he grows up, because of our freedom, but that I hope he doesn’t become.

30 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 6 comments

Sacrifice Try?

My son has recently become obsessed with playing baseball, waking up every morning and immediately demanding to take some cuts with his plastic bat (and Red Sox ball. REPRESENT!).

I think it’s great that he’s into the sport; it’s a hell of a lot safer than football and I’m glad he’s showing more interest in it than in something like soccer. But it’s gonna hurt when I crush his dreams. Or, more to the point, when his body does.

Sorry, kid. You don’t have the genes for sports.

Scared Tactics

When you’re a kid, you just don’t understand.

You’re just doing your thing, trying something new, exploring something new, eyes on the prize, when all of a sudden Daddy appears out of nowhere, grabs you, and starts yelling in your face.

You’re scared. But what your puny, inexperienced brain doesn’t realize is, that despite all appearances, Daddy is even more scared than you.

The World’s Most Stressful Accessory

I don’t think toddlers and dogs are the same thing (except when they kind of are). No one could possibly think that.

For one thing, dogs have fur. For another, dogs can be trained. They’ll actually listen to commands. You can use a leash without getting strange looks and, as mentioned above, your wife can even carry certain kinds of dogs in her purse. You can’t do that with toddlers. But sometimes I wish you could.

Taking toddlers places is stressful AF!

Dad and Buried

Tag: learning

I Don’t Use Baby Talk

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Be All That You Can Be (Except Any of the Following)

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The World’s Most Stressful Accessory

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