Zombie Post: To Air is Human

Zombie Post: To Air is Human

For many people, the holidays mean travel, and we’re among those people. But whereas we used to take an easy train to visit family, now we’re forced to choose between a long drive or a short flight. With a toddler in tow. Nobody really likes flying these days because it’s such a hassle. Even shortRead more about Zombie Post: To Air is Human[…]

Hilarious Things to Say to Someone Who Only Has One Kid

Hilarious Things to Say to Someone Who Only Has One Kid

Mom and Buried and I only have one kid. Which makes us worse than all those parents who have more than one. Truly. We’re worse parents AND worse people.

At least we’re still better than all those people out there with NO kids! Am I right?

The fact is, having one kid is so easy it’s a joke. It’s pretty much exactly like having zero kids, except you actually have the one kid. Thankfully, one kid barely even registers in your life.

I’m a stay-at-home dad but since I only have one kid I’m really just a stay-at-home guy. I basically sit on my ass at home all day. Sometimes, I forget my son is even there! I honestly don’t know where he is right now, but I’m sure he’s fine. He’s just one person. He can handle himself.

I don’t know why only children even have parents.

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Can You Be Happy Without Kids?

Can You Be Happy Without Kids?

As a world-famous blogger who hates his kid and once mentioned Bronies, I get A LOT of weird spam. Most of it regarding my penis.

Sometimes I actually get asked advice, and sometimes I get yelled at; sometimes I get praise, and sometimes an old teacher from high school reaches out to say hi. (Most of the time I get yelled at.)

Yesterday, I got an email that I initially thought was spam. I’m still not positive it’s not. Just in case, I’m responding to a reader who wants to know if she can be happy without kids.

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The Real Reason Parents are Always So Tired

The Real Reason Parents are Always So Tired

You often hear the phrase “I need a vacation from my vacation.” I try not to use cliches, but after just a few days at the beach, I need a vacation from my vacation.

Unfortunately, I have a kid. So I’ll never get one. I’ll always be tired.

Parents are always tired. There’s a good reason for that.

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Page Fright

Page Fright

Somehow it was easier with a baby.

Sure, we were guaranteed multiple trips into his bedroom every night, but when a baby wakes up crying you can cuddle it, feed it, rock it and lay with it until it falls back asleep. Of course that’s not exactly easy, a lot depends on the crankiness of the baby and/or any more serious issues (we escaped the dreaded colic, thank the gods), but it doesn’t require a ton of thought or effort. It’s instinct versus inconvenience.

Toddlers wake up less often but when they do, they’re able to start a conversation. Or worse: make demands.

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