Things Parents Wish We Could Get Away With

Things Parents Wish We Could Get Away With

Parenting comes with a lot of rules.

Whether you’re a strict mom or a cool dad (or vice-versa!), when it comes to raising kids, there are a million dos and don’ts. Some of them are universal (do feed them, don’t show them pornography, do brush their teeth, don’t let them drive, etc.) and some of them differ by household (for example, you don’t let your kids watch TV, whereas my 6-year-old woke up with nightmares about last week’s Legion; to each their own!)

But in our weakest moments, and we all have them, every parent wants to ditch the rule book. Every parent wishes there were certain things s/he could get away with, if not for society and laws and potentially scarring/endangering our kids.

What kinds of things? I’m glad you asked!

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In Praise of Screen Time

In Praise of Screen Time

As delightful as parenting can be (stay with me here), as rewarding a journey, as enjoyable an experience, there are downsides.

Shocking, I know. Who’d have thought that dedicating the lion’s share of your life to preparing other, dumber, younger people to live their own lives would occasionally be a drag? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it is. Not all the time, but a fair amount of the time. Maybe even more than it isn’t. Of course, the peaks always outperform the valleys, and even if there are fewer of them, they still matter more and linger longer.

The key is surviving the valleys. And that’s not always easy. But you know what? It’s easier now than ever before! Because technology.

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Come On, Admit Your Kid Sucks

Come On, Admit Your Kid Sucks

I’m not one to mince words or make excuses. I never have been, and that didn’t change when I became a parent.

This is why I often find it irritating to hear all the ways other parents try to avoid blaming their kids for bad behavior. This is aside from the fact that most other parents, and other parents’ children, are irritating to begin with! (No offense. I barely like myself as a parent. Parenting’s not really a good look on anyone.)

Just go ahead and admit your kid sucks sometimes.

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Boys Can Be Feminists Too

Boys Can Be Feminists Too

I wanted a daughter.

Last year, before my second son was born, I was hoping to have a girl. (We already had a boy, and I wanted someone to prefer me for a change!) I don’t care anymore, of course. I love both my boys and wouldn’t trade them for anything. Well, maybe for a little peace and quiet, but that’s not gonna happen.

Besides, according to just about every guy I know who has a daughter, I’m lucky. Having girls is scary, they say, especially when they get older — especially for dads.

I hope to help make it a little easier.

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Drum Major

Drum Major

Christmas is coming, which gives us all a chance to show our families and friends how much we love them through the joyful act of giving, and receiving, gifts.

It also allows the cruel and vindictive people in our lives to torture us by gleefully providing our children with terrible, terrible toys, whether they’re loud, include hundreds of tiny pieces, require hours of manual labor to assemble, or are just plain annoying.

Sometimes, we parents even do it to ourselves, because indulging our kids is part of the deal. But even so, that doesn’t mean we can’t hold a grudge against the people who created some of these infernal toys to begin with. Which is what I’m about to do.

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