03 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking No comments

Heart Murmuring

I’m lucky.

Heart disease isn’t a big trend in my family. Sure, there’s some, my grandfather had some heart issues that contributed to his failing health, and my other grandfather died from a heart attack before I was old enough to remember meeting him.

Aaand now I’m reconsidering my luck. Especially since my doctor recently told me that my triglycerides were a little high – which apparently is not a good thing, because when I tried to fist-bump him he got mad.

Stuck Inside with Kids

More power to our kids, but nothing makes a person hate snow more than being an adult. There are only so many times you can take your kids sledding and ice skating and snowman-building, especially when you have things to do!

No matter how outdoorsy you are, in the winter you’re sure to be spending more and more time indoors with a collection of five-hour-energy side-effects in tiny human form, slowly but surely exhausting every single entertainment option available in an effort to keep the kids occupied. And keep yourself from turning into Jack Nicholson in The Shining. It’s not easy.

And it’s only going to get worse for me, now that I have a newborn too.

04 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Future No comments

Expect the Unexpected

A kid in my high school biology class once asked our teacher if a woman could give birth to a snake. And we’ve been close friends ever since!

Thankfully, none of Mom and Buried’s ultrasounds have shown a cobra. And I already have a kid. So even though I’m not a biology teacher, and it’s been five years since I’ve had a newborn baby around and I don’t remember much about how to care for one, I have a pretty good idea of what’s coming (sometime in the next two weeks).

Yet despite the fact that I have an existing child on whom to base my expectations for my second baby’s personality and appearance, in reality, I don’t have a clue. And that’s got me pretty excited.

Read more about Expect the Unexpected …

30 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 2 comments

Don’t Hate, Appreciate

My wife loves when our son sleeps in our bed.

It’s tight, he inevitably chooses some weird, awkward position that usually involves one of his feet in her face or my crotch, but she loves it. Even when his presence makes any actual sleep totally impossible and leaves her completely exhausted the next day.

If I’m being honest, I love it too. Because I know it’s not going to last.

29 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Language One comment

Smack Balk

Sometimes watching sports and being a (good) parent is a tough combination. Especially when you’re a Dolphins fan.

I don’t have much to cheer for these days, but I do have plenty to cheer against (primarily the Patriots, Jets, and Bills). Unfortunately, there’s a five-year-old around most of the time, which makes talking smack about my rivals a lot harder.

But I think I may have found a solution. Thank God Detective Munch can’t read!

Dad and Buried

Tag: sports

Heart Murmuring

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Stuck Inside with Kids

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Expect the Unexpected

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Don’t Hate, Appreciate

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Smack Balk

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