I love my kids, I just hate parenting
My son has had a free ride long enough.
He’s had five years and several months of being the only game in town. But last month, things changed. His baby brother arrived, and now if Detective Munch wants to stay in our good graces, he needs to step up his game.
Luckily, I have the perfect solution.
One of the struggles of dealing with a newborn is never knowing what they’re thinking about.
Sure, when they cry it’s probably because they’re hungry or tired or have a full diaper or are sick of the baby talk or what you to turn the channel, but it’s impossible to ever know. (Of course, when your kids finally can tell you what they’re thinking, it’s usually either insulting or meaningless.)
I made a little pie chart to break down babies most common thoughts.
My wife is pregnant. Capital-P pregnant. Like, nearly ten months, ready to burst, hating life, “why did I do this?” pregnant.
I am not pregnant. But, out of solidarity, I spent the holidays doing my best to make it seem like I was. Because I’m a good husband.
And a stupid idiot.
I spend a lot of time railing against the idea of parenting “experts”. But everyone needs some advice once in a while.
Pretty soon, I’m going to have a new child upon whom all my hopes and dreams will rest. In order to ensure things go smoothly, I got some advice from fellow members of the dad blogger community.
Then I mocked it.
When it comes to parenting, I don’t buy into gender stereotypes or biological imperatives or how they feel on “Mad Men”.
It’s 2015! Parenting tasks are no longer divided solely by gender, at least not in my house. It’s a team effort, a total 50/50 proposition, and moms and dads both have to go all-in to make it work.
That said, there are definitely some things my wife does better than me, and most of them aren’t gender-specific. (Unless you count being sick. Women totally dominate there.)
She had her birthday last week, so I thought I’d share a few of them. Better late than never!