I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Parenting is an experiment.
You keep trying new things, seeing what works (nothing) and what doesn’t (everything), and shifting your techniques accordingly until you land on the perfect (read: imaginary) combination and tend to your impressionable child until he sprouts into a flawless adult.
Unfortunately, that’s all a waste of time. Not only because parenting is impossible to game plan, and because it turns out we’re the test subjects.
![[E-card] Children are Monsters](https://dadandburied.com/wp-content/themes/llorix-one-lite/images/no-thumbnail-mobile.jpg)
Having kids can occasionally feel like living in a monster movie. Because children are monsters!
When you kid bites you, he might as well be a vampire. When she screams up a storm, she can be as terrifying as a banshee. When they try to wipe their own butt, they often end up looking like a mummy. For the first few years of their lives, they all walk like Frankenstein’s monster.
And every single one of them reduces your home to rubble, like one monster in particular…
![[E-card] Weekend Parenting](https://i0.wp.com/dadandburied.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/beach-tired.jpg?resize=500%2C233&ssl=1)
My weekends used to be sacred. Then I had a kid, and they became his weekends.
Suddenly, every weekend is packed with activities, and play dates, and birthday parties. I have to take my kid to all of them, which leaves hardly any time for bars! But that doesn’t mean I don’t find ways to relax.
I’m usually a pretty attentive father, but weekend parenting requires a slightly different approach.
![[E-card] Bite Club](https://i0.wp.com/dadandburied.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/fight-club.jpg?resize=500%2C233&ssl=1)
The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The first rule of Bite Club is you never stop talking about Bite Club.
Seriously, if someone bites you, scream bloody murder and alert everyone in your vicinity! Biting is NOT acceptable, even if you’re just a toddler.
Because I don’t care if you’re Batman: getting bit HURTS.