21 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 2 comments

Seven Ways Parenting is Like Fantasy Football

I am in the middle of yet another trying fantasy football season. Two of them, actually, since I am participating in two leagues, like some kind of masochist. It’s been 12 weeks of misery, punctuated by occasional spurts of short-lived happiness.

Just like raising kids!

Seriously, parenting and fantasy football aren’t all that different (here’s what a fantasy parenting draft might look like!) There’s a lot of work, you have to pay a lot of attention, and nobody wants to hear about any of it.

I know, you think I’m an idiot. So I made a list!

18 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 5 comments

All I Want From The Parent-Teacher Conference

Later today, I’ll be attending my first parent-teacher conference.

As a kid, parent-teacher conference day was nerve-wracking. (“What is the teacher going to say about me? Am I going to get in trouble?”) Now that I’m the parent, it will be interesting to experience it from the other side. Or it will be when it matters. Right now, I don’t think it does.

Detective Munch is four. He’s in preschool. Unless he’s biting other children or spending all class in the corner doing science experiments, I don’t think there will be any major developments.

But there is one thing I’m dying to learn.

04 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 13 comments

Scar Wars

My son hasn’t seen Star Wars yet!

But thanks to its pop culture ubiquity, he definitely knows about it. Whether or not the kids themselves have seen the movies, my son’s preschool classmates wear shirts emblazoned with the different characters, Detective Munch himself has a toy light-saber, and he’s already announced that he wants to be Darth Vader for next Halloween. (He’s also announced that he wants to be Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Batman, and the Joker, so let’s give it some time before we buy the next costume.) Sight unseen!

Recently he even asked me if he could watch it “someday,” a question I could barely even answer due to my enormous grin.

Like every dad whose childhood was shaped by the original trilogy, I am dying to show it to my son. But I’m exercising restraint. Because Mom and Buried.

Boys Need Protection Too

Last week, I posted something of a response to the hilarious “if you touch my daughter I’ll kill you!” stance that many fathers enjoy taking when their daughters start dating. I wrote the post to make light of the idea that it’s supercool for adults to threaten children with violence.

As I was writing, I found myself worrying about my credibility on the topic, because I don’t have a daughter who might one day be asked to prom by a leering, peach-fuzzed boy with only one thing on his mind and it’s not matchbox cars I’ll tell you that much!

I only have a son. And boys don’t need protection.

Right?

13 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 9 comments

Rules for Dating My Son

My son is only four, but with the speed at which children grow up these days, it won’t be long before he starts going on dates. So I thought I’d write a little something to anyone who is considering going to the drive-in and the ice cream stand – or maybe the roller rink and soda shop? I’m out of touch – with my son. Some rules for dating him.

(If you have a daughter, try these or these, from much nicer people than me.)

He’s a friendly, good-looking kid, so I don’t blame you for being interested. Just be careful. If you want to date my son, it’s your funeral.

Dad and Buried

Category: Future

Seven Ways Parenting is Like Fantasy Football

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All I Want From The Parent-Teacher Conference

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Scar Wars

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Boys Need Protection Too

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Rules for Dating My Son

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