08 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice One comment

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

I have two kids now. I’ve never been more of an expert on what it takes to be exhausted and annoyed 24/7.

Which makes today the perfect time for another round of my unprofessional, ill-considered, potentially criminal parenting advice! (Check out all of the previous installments.)

And I actually got a handful of solid questions! Too solid, really. It was a struggle to make fun of them! It’s almost like you people are starting to take me seriously. STOP IT.

07 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in marriage One comment

Don’t Put Up, Shut Up

Yesterday was #WomanCrushWednesday, the one day a week when Instagram users are allowed to share a photo of a woman they want to have sex with. (I don’t actually know the official premise of the stupid theme.) I shared a photo of Mom and Buried, been there, done that! YEAH BOYEEEEEEEEE!

I chose a picture in which she looks really pretty, she’s clearly very happy, and is doing something mom-related because I’m nothing if not consistently ON BRAND. I also chose a picture in which her face is partially obscured, because a little anonymity is good and also it’s hilarious to constantly obscure her face. (Did you see the birthday pic I posted?)

She may not think it’s hilarious, but she knows who she married. She’s used to putting up with me.

Read more about Don’t Put Up, Shut Up …

16 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies No comments

Diamonds are Forever

My son’s first crush has reared its head.

There’s a girl in his kindergarten class that he’s constantly pretending to marry. I don’t know if his proposal involves an engagement ring, he has no money, and he may not even know about that part of the ritual yet. But I’m pretty sure he’ll learn about it soon.

Because despite an ancient screenplay I wrote that flipped the script by having girls propose to guys with an “engagement watch,” odds are the diamond ring will maintain its hegemony for at least another generation or so. So he’d better start saving now!

Read more about Diamonds are Forever …

11 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies No comments

Pregnancy Perks for Guys

Men may not get to take part in the miracle of childbirth, but don’t feel bad, guys. There are some pregnancy perks for you too!

We’re a few months into life with two kids, and it’s pretty much going according to plan. Basically, we’re exhausted. But we have a cute little baby around who occasionally eases the pain. In fact, despite the exhaustion and the stress and the problematic logistics that come with adjusting to life with a newborn, Mom and Buried is thrilled to no longer be pregnant. She didn’t love round two.

I’m glad she’s feeling better. But I actually kind of miss it. Especially since we now have two kids and from where I stand that’s a hell of a lot harder than one and a half.

04 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 10 comments

The Agony of Colic

In its darkest moments, parenting boils down to two emotions.

Once you muffle the laughter and the joy – and let’s be real here, in the face of the day-to-day grind that is raising children, the laughter and the joy are already often muffled by the frustration and the exhaustion – two feelings come to the fore over and over again. Two feelings that, on your worst days, overwhelm everything else.

Being a parent is largely about guilt and fear, even when it should be about neither.

Dad and Buried

Category: marriage

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

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Don’t Put Up, Shut Up

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Diamonds are Forever

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Pregnancy Perks for Guys

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The Agony of Colic

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