Child Abuse

Child Abuse

My son has been involved in a few violent incidents recently. And I’m not just talking about the constant finger-biting he does when we try to brush his teeth, though that is not fun either. I don’t care if you’re Batman, getting bit HURTS.

Thankfully, my son has not yet shown any signs of being a biter – it’s almost hard to blame him for the biting he has done, seeing as it only happens when we stick a bubble-gum flavored finger in his mouth.

No, the violence I’m talking about is the hand-to-hand kind. Well, the hand-to-face kind, as in my son’s hand and another kid’s face.

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He Learned It By Watching Me?

He Learned It By Watching Me?

Watching a child grow and develop is an amazing thing, a true privilege as a parent. It allows even the most cynical, jaded and beaten-down of us to experience anew the simple joys of youth. It gives us a chance to revisit a sacred time of sublime innocence and joy, when the world wasn’t so complicated and shaded in gray. It is a sacred opportunity and it should be cherished.

Except when it sucks.

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Baby Rule: Hookers aren’t good role models

Baby Rule: Hookers aren’t good role models

A few years ago, well before my son was gestating in her uterus like H.R. Giger‘s worst nightmare, my wife bought a bunch of fabric in order to snip and sew into a Halloween costume.

Wanna see it?

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Baby in the Bar, Dot Com

Baby in the Bar, Dot Com

Apparently this guy has a problem with babies being in bars, and as a result he’s decided to create a website devoted to “shaming” parents by posting pictures of them behaving “badly” by bringing their kids to bars. His site’s tagline is: Bad parents, cute babies, questionable decisions. I have problems with every part ofRead more about Baby in the Bar, Dot Com[…]

Why I’m Raising My Son To Be a Bird

Why I’m Raising My Son To Be a Bird

“They’re my kids, I own ’em.” – Homer Simpson

I created my son. And I will mold him to be exactly the person I want him to be. Except for the fact that I don’t want him to be a person.

Because I’m raising my son to be a bird.

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