06 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 62 comments

The Death of Spontaneity

Back when I was single, or even married without a kid, planning things wasn’t necessary. I’d get an impromptu phone call from a friend and just say “sure, I’ll be right there!” Then I’d actually be right there, and we’d spend the next 11 hours sitting at a bar.

Nowadays, if I don’t have something on the books at least a week in advance, I can’t even answer that phone call. Just getting yourself and your kid out of the house takes an eternity. When you become a parent, the concept of “spur of the moment” ceases to exist.

Having children means the death of spontaneity.

16 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 3 comments

The Dream Police

Here I was, complaining about my son scaring me when apparently what I should be worrying about are the things that are scaring him.

Because apparently babies can have nightmares.

God knows what they entail.

(Not) Sleeping with the Enemy

We are one of the lucky ones: our child sleeps.

Wary of all the horror stories, we opted to give Cry It Out a shot. It worked like a charm (and I recommend it up and down). When our son goes to sleep, he stays asleep. For 11 to 12 hours. Every night.

But, every once in a while, when he’s not feeling well or is tossing and turning, we will let him sleep in our bed.

It never goes well.

09 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking No comments

The Worry-Free Guide to Impending Fatherhood

It was almost exactly two years ago when I discovered I was going to be a father. My level of ignorance on the topic had me pretty nervous, but the nerves are natural. And kind of pointless. Because what I’ve learned after my first full year as a dad is that the key to being a good father is simply this: don’t be an asshole.

Seriously. If you’re already not an asshole, you can skip the rest of this (long) post because that’s all there is to it. Congratulations! Go forth and multiply.

However, I was an asshole. And I didn’t have much guidance when I became a dad. So I offer the following nine-item list (one for each month of pregnancy!) to all the assholes like me who need advice on getting through the nine or so months preceding the birth of the person who will most likely be your end (Oedipus!).

28 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 30 comments

Five Essential Baby Items

Having your first kid is not easy. Despite all the books and the advice, there’s really have no way of knowing what you’re getting into or what you’ll need to survive it all. Every parent gets a bunch of crap when they are having a kid, and a fair amount of it are things that they initially have no real idea what to do with – until they suddenly need to figure it out REAL QUICK.

It’s kind of like a computer game where you collect all sorts of random items you can’t fathom any use for, and then you get to a specific puzzle and it suddenly becomes clear that the only way to solve it is by using that jar of butt paste you somehow acquired way back when.

Dad and Buried

Category: Sleeping

The Death of Spontaneity

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The Dream Police

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(Not) Sleeping with the Enemy

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The Worry-Free Guide to Impending Fatherhood

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Five Essential Baby Items

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