I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Kids aren’t good at very many things, but they are good at going berserk on their parents for no reason.
After a while, you get used to their antics, and learn enough about their irrational ways that you can properly anticipate, and safely weather, one of their outbursts.
If you’re not yet schooled in the five stages of throwing a fit, don’t worry. I’m here to help.
Last week, I wrote about the sleep deprivation, the loss of both quantity and quality of sleep, that comes with being a parent.
Even after sleep training, even when they’re older, your sleep schedule gets shredded.
Today, I thought I’d share a timeline of the typical night in the Buried household, from when we put Detective Munch down to bed and from when he gets us up the next morning.
Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy night.
I am the hardest working dad in the world. (Granted, I’m only a dad, so it’s a low bar, but my gender is not my fault. It’s GOD’s fault!)
You’re probably wondering what makes me, Dad and Buried, the hardest working dad in the world. Well, for starters, I have a ten-week-old baby and a five-year-old son and both of them are still alive!
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
Parenting is such an incredible, all-consuming experience that it causes you to feel emotions differently than you’ve ever felt them before. Caring for your children causes many emotions to come on more strongly, and more quickly, than they used to.
Not only do you often find yourself feeling myriad emotions in quick succession, if not all at once – many of them new emotions you may not have experienced before – but you also find yourself experiencing the same ones, good and bad, every day, over and over again.
Especially if you have more than one child.
My son’s first crush has reared its head.
There’s a girl in his kindergarten class that he’s constantly pretending to marry. I don’t know if his proposal involves an engagement ring, he has no money, and he may not even know about that part of the ritual yet. But I’m pretty sure he’ll learn about it soon.
Because despite an ancient screenplay I wrote that flipped the script by having girls propose to guys with an “engagement watch,” odds are the diamond ring will maintain its hegemony for at least another generation or so. So he’d better start saving now!