I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Kids aren’t good at very many things, but they are good at going berserk on their parents for no reason.
After a while, you get used to their antics, and learn enough about their irrational ways that you can properly anticipate, and safely weather, one of their outbursts.
If you’re not yet schooled in the five stages of throwing a fit, don’t worry. I’m here to help.
When you have kids, being tired becomes a way of life. A defining characteristic. Part of your personality.
Everyone gets tired as they get older, but when children are part of the equation, recovering lost energy is a lot more difficult. The idea of being able to catch up on sleep is a silly enough myth to begin with, but when you’re a parent desperate for an energy boost, it’s the straight-up Holy Grail.
So is it true? Are parents doomed to be forever tired? Or is there hope?
Babies aren’t trying to be jerks. They just can’t help it.
There’s no better proof of babies instinctual ability to mess with you than the uncanny manner in which they always seems to time their sleep schedule for maximum disruption of your life.
To prove this theorem, I spent some time monitoring my son.
One of the struggles of dealing with a newborn is never knowing what they’re thinking about.
Sure, when they cry it’s probably because they’re hungry or tired or have a full diaper or are sick of the baby talk or what you to turn the channel, but it’s impossible to ever know. (Of course, when your kids finally can tell you what they’re thinking, it’s usually either insulting or meaningless.)
I made a little pie chart to break down babies most common thoughts.
Detective Munch and I haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye a lot lately. We tend to butt heads as is, but lately it’s been a bit intense.
I say stop, he says go! I say yes, he says no! I say up, he says left! (We’re working on his opposites.) Some of it is typical five-year-old defiance, some of it is clashing priorities, some of it is matching personalities.
Thankfully, we do have some common ground.