04
Aug
02
Aug
Woman Up!
My son loves riding the merry-go-round at our local park.
He used to prefer the stationary animals, or even one of the stupid sled things, but as he’s become more enamored with the carousel he’s graduated to the real shit: the animals that slide up and down. I’m glad; there’s little point in even going on the thing if you’re not on one of those.
On our latest trip, I saw that my wife was letting our son ride some overgrown cat thing all by himself. And she chose to ride the animal next to him, rather than stand at his side to make sure he didn’t fall off! I sat on the sidelines (I chose the bench outside because going in circles makes my tummy hurt), panicking as my moron of a son repeatedly took one hand off the pole to wave at me as he went by. Meanwhile, Mom and Buried wasn’t even breaking a sweat.
I need to woman up. My wife has bigger balls than me.
01
Aug
E-card: The Honest Truth
30
Jul
Dads Blog the Darndest Things
I hate being a dad. Sometimes.
You know this; you’ve read my blog.
Hopefully, you’ve also understood my blog. And you know what “sometimes” means. And you understand that even when I hate being a dad, I still love it.
Not everyone understands my blog.
24
Jul
Parenting Milestones
According to my son’s birth certificate, I became a father in 2010. But becoming an actual parent took longer. In fact, I think it took until last week.
When we imagine having kids, most of us have similar daydreams. Most of them focus on big moments: choosing a name, putting together a crib, going through labor, changing diapers, playing catch, taking off the training wheels, the first day of school, etc.
When I finally, actually became a dad, many of those milestones remained significant, but dozens – hundreds! – more piled up around small, everyday stuff. Every single first is a capital-F First: first burp, first smile, first poop, first solid poop, first roll-over, first sit-up, first crawl, first fall, first steps, first words…
But after a while, and folders full of pictures, you realize that those aren’t your milestones. They’re your kid’s. Here are some actual parenting milestones.