29 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 109 comments

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 2 (To Us)

When I was a kid, whenever I had a nightmare my parents would tell me to think about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, since they are associated with happiness and fun. Unfortunately, I took that advice, and for a few years was beset by terrifying nightmares wherein a homicidal Santa or a psychopathic Easter Bunny attempted to murder me.

I no longer fear Santa, but am still occasionally faced with an instance where something/someone that is usually considered friendly, or, at worst, utterly innocuous, fills me with dread.

This Christmas, that something/someone is Elmo. (see Part 1 here.)

27 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning No comments

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 1 (To Him)

So this weekend we celebrated our son’s “second” Christmas, but since, if memory serves, he spent his actual first Christmas crying and pooping and sleeping with nary any clue of what all the fuss was about, this was more like his real actual first Christmas. And being that he’s only 15 months old, we weren’t even sure this one would count.

But we were wrong.

The kid took to Christmas like Tim Tebow takes to scruff, or Tim Tebow takes to evangelism, or Tim Tebow takes to not being able to play quarterback. (See Part 2 here.)

20 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear One comment

Miracle on 34th Street

Last week, my wife and I took our pride and joy (by which I mean our new iPhone 4S) and also our young son to visit Santa Claus at the Macy’s in Herald Square.

As residents of NYC it was a patently idiotic thing to do, as was visiting Rockefeller Center the week before; we’re not tourists, why would we subject ourselves to acting like them? The crush of people around 30 Rock was insane, and here I was trying to navigate a stroller through this mess of yokels, all of them hoping for a glimpse of Hoda or Tina Fey or the Snoopy balloon, all of them staring wide-eyed at the hot dog vendors and the skyscrapers, all of them losing their minds over a tree that wasn’t even lit in the middle of the day. Or maybe it was. I stood right next to it and didn’t even hazard a glance because who cares? I have one in my living room.

And yet last week we did it again. This time, we somehow made it through unscathed. It really was a miracle.

And that was what sucked about it.

15 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 2 comments

A Sign of Things to Come?

So Jimmy Kimmel created a bit for his show in which he asked parents to give their kids terrible Christmas presents and then film the results. He recently aired the results (video below). And they are disturbing…

13 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 7 comments

He Learned It By Watching Me?

Watching a child grow and develop is an amazing thing, a true privilege as a parent. It allows even the most cynical, jaded and beaten-down of us to experience anew the simple joys of youth. It gives us a chance to revisit a sacred time of sublime innocence and joy, when the world wasn’t so complicated and shaded in gray. It is a sacred opportunity and it should be cherished.

Except when it sucks.

Dad and Buried

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 2 (To Us)

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He Learned It By Watching Me?

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