21 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 255 comments

Crock of Ages

This entire blog is dedicated to my attempt at staving off the inevitability of becoming something I hate:

One of those people who is known as a parent first and a person second. One of those people who can’t seem to talk about anything except kids and kid-related stuff. One of those people who goes to bed at 8pm because parenting is so tiring, who stops having fun (read: drinking) because parenting is so all-consuming. One of those people who only listens to kids music, who only watches children’s programming, or who only hangs out with other parents.

Or one of those people who relays his child’s age in months. Today, I failed.

The Inappropriate! Collection – Things I Shouldn’t Show My Son, #1

I do and say a lot of inappropriate things around my son, things I convince myself are okay since he’s barely 1 and there’s a) zero chance he’ll remember them and b) little chance they’ll impact him in the long-run.

But I know that these things will only become MORE inappropriate as he grows in age and understanding just as I know I won’t be able to stop doing and saying most of them for the foreseeable future.

So, with today’s debut of a new feature, I am going to try and get some of the best examples out of my system, one week at a time.

18 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Movies One comment

Shut Up Already!

I’m dying to say that to my son. If only he could talk back, so I could harshly put him down. The ability to use verbal abuse is one of the many privileges of being a parent and I’m looking forward to – pun intended – abusing it.

The irony is that when he’s a teenager he’ll turn the tables on me with never-ending sarcasm and constant disrespectfulness; but that’s when I bust out the PHYSICAL ABUSE, Good Will Hunting-style. If there’s anything Papa Hunting knew how to do, it was how to beat the genius into somebody, whether he used a belt, stick or wrench.

But back to my son. He isn’t talking back just yet, but he is talking, at least a little. Or maybe it’s more like “talk.”

Unreality TV

So there’s this new show called “Up All Night” which is about a couple adjusting to the change in lifestyle brought on by having a baby. Amazingly original premise! I was intrigued, mostly because I like Will Arnett (mostly because I love GOB), so MomandBuried and I gave it a shot. The show has hadRead more about Unreality TV[…]

15 Sep

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking 2 comments

We Gon’ Party Like It’s Yo Birthday

You know that hateful, soul-deadening show on MTV about teenage girls? No, not that one. Not that one either..

This one. Where parents spend six figures on their kids’ birthday parties, presumably to satisfy an already spoiled teen and to keep up with the Joneses who are also throwing supersized parties that – let’s face it – aren’t any fun since the kids are only 16 and can’t even drink. (Unless the parents are SUPER cool.) The minute I saw that show I knew – no matter how rich I might one day become – I would never spoil my kids so obnoxiously, nor have kids who were so obsessed with popularity and status, nor waste so much of my own time and money on a child’s birthday party.

And then my son’s first birthday approached. And my wife organized a circus-themed party complete with a ball pit, popcorn and more. And my life began to spiral downward into an abyss of despair.

Happy birthday, kiddo!

Dad and Buried

Crock of Ages

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The Inappropriate! Collection – Things I Shouldn’t Show My Son, #1

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Shut Up Already!

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Unreality TV

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We Gon’ Party Like It’s Yo Birthday

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