22 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs 134 comments

The Parental Exercise Equivalency Chart

It’s not always easy to make exercise a part of your life, especially as you get older and other things take priority, like drinking, and not exercising.

But having kids is no excuse. Not because it’s easy to squeeze in the gym when you have parental duties, but because we parents actually get a ton of exercise without even needing a gym membership. Especially when our kids our younger.

It turns out that a lot of the stuff I would do at the gym, I’m already doing at home. Take a look at my parental exercise equivalency chart to find out if you are too.

17 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 69 comments

The Guide to Hungover Parenting

Last night, we had our neighbors over for a few drinks. Somewhere between my third and fourth beer, I forgot that I have a kid and a job and am thirty-eight, so I had three or four more beers. Now I want to die.

Thankfully, today is Friday, so I’m at work instead of sitting at home trying to occupy a four-year-old who wants me to pretend to be a firetruck-slash-dinosaur and get on my knees and chase him around the house all while holding my head and trying not to throw up.

Hungover parenting is not a lot of fun.

14 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Other Parents 35 comments

I’m a Better Parent Than You

I’m a better parent than you.

Sorry. I know this is tough for some of you to hear. Just accept it. It’s easier that way.

I’m a better parent than you and I’ll tell you why.

27 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 13 comments

How to Talk to Parents

Parents are a pretty sensitive group.

Perhaps because they themselves are the Kings of the Judgers, parents are more attuned to perceived slights than most. No group of people is more “victimized” than parents — and the word “victimized” is in quotes for exactly the reason you think it is.

These days, there’s just not a lot you can get away with saying to or about moms and dads without someone getting offended. You have to use your words very carefully.

You’d probably have better luck suggesting that Hitler had some good ideas than saying just about anything about parenting to a parent.

24 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 391 comments

The Sad Reality of the Tired Parent

Most of the stuff people tell you about having a baby? Total garbage.

It’s either too much or too little, too intense or too laid back, too judgy or too deadbeat, too scary or not scary enough. And all of it – every single bit – is refracted through each “helpful” person’s own prism, informed by their own experiences and their own specific circumstances, all of which are unique and personal when it comes to even the most generic of tasks, and so esoteric as to be meaningless when it comes to raising children.

But the stuff about losing sleep and being tired? That’s some solid gold truth.

Dad and Buried

Tag: babies

The Parental Exercise Equivalency Chart

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The Guide to Hungover Parenting

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I’m a Better Parent Than You

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How to Talk to Parents

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The Sad Reality of the Tired Parent

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