03 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 4 comments

Who Does My Son Take After

Parenting isn’t a competition.

When it comes to raising kids, comparing how you’re doing to other parents or measuring your kid’s development against others their age is just not a good idea. Children are like snowflakes – annoying, loud, inconvenient, smelly snowflakes. They’re all annoying and loud and inconvenient and smelly in their own unique ways.

Every parent is unique too. We all have different styles, even compared to our spouses. Making it about who’s winning is poisonous to your relationship and potentially damaging to your offspring.

That said, when it comes to which parent Detective Munch takes after, I am totally crushing my wife.

26 Sep

Dad and Buried Posted in Blogger Idol 10 comments

Blogger Idol 2012: There Can Be Only One

A few weeks ago I got wind of something called “Blogger Idol.”

It’s an online contest run by a couple of insane, obviously bored, objectively wonderful people in an effort to publicize and award some of the best blog writing on the internet.

This is the second year of the competition and after submitting an audition explaining my blog and why I’m the greatest, I find myself among the 13 finalists. Unfortunately, now I’m forced to write an assignment every week in an attempt to outlast the other 12 contestants and win it all.

Like “American Idol” itself, advancement relies on a combination of judges impressions and fans, votes. Which is where you come in.

29 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 4 comments

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 2 (To Us)

When I was a kid, whenever I had a nightmare my parents would tell me to think about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, since they are associated with happiness and fun. Unfortunately, I took that advice, and for a few years was beset by terrifying nightmares wherein a homicidal Santa or a psychopathic Easter Bunny attempted to murder me.

I no longer fear Santa, but am still occasionally faced with an instance where something/someone that is usually considered friendly, or, at worst, utterly innocuous, fills me with dread.

This Christmas, that something/someone is Elmo. (see Part 1 here.)

27 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning No comments

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 1 (To Him)

So this weekend we celebrated our son’s “second” Christmas, but since, if memory serves, he spent his actual first Christmas crying and pooping and sleeping with nary any clue of what all the fuss was about, this was more like his real actual first Christmas. And being that he’s only 15 months old, we weren’t even sure this one would count.

But we were wrong.

The kid took to Christmas like Tim Tebow takes to scruff, or Tim Tebow takes to evangelism, or Tim Tebow takes to not being able to play quarterback. (See Part 2 here.)

20 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear No comments

Miracle on 34th Street

Last week, my wife and I took our pride and joy (by which I mean our new iPhone 4S) and also our young son to visit Santa Claus at the Macy’s in Herald Square.

As residents of NYC it was a patently idiotic thing to do, as was visiting Rockefeller Center the week before; we’re not tourists, why would we subject ourselves to acting like them? The crush of people around 30 Rock was insane, and here I was trying to navigate a stroller through this mess of yokels, all of them hoping for a glimpse of Hoda or Tina Fey or the Snoopy balloon, all of them staring wide-eyed at the hot dog vendors and the skyscrapers, all of them losing their minds over a tree that wasn’t even lit in the middle of the day. Or maybe it was. I stood right next to it and didn’t even hazard a glance because who cares? I have one in my living room.

And yet last week we did it again. This time, we somehow made it through unscathed. It really was a miracle.

And that was what sucked about it.

Dad and Buried

Tag: Christmas

Who Does My Son Take After

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