The Agony of Colic

The Agony of Colic

In its darkest moments, parenting boils down to two emotions.

Once you muffle the laughter and the joy – and let’s be real here, in the face of the day-to-day grind that is raising children, the laughter and the joy are already often muffled by the frustration and the exhaustion – two feelings come to the fore over and over again. Two feelings that, on your worst days, overwhelm everything else.

Being a parent is largely about guilt and fear, even when it should be about neither.

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Expect the Unexpected

Expect the Unexpected

A kid in my high school biology class once asked our teacher if a woman could give birth to a snake. And we’ve been close friends ever since!

Thankfully, none of Mom and Buried’s ultrasounds have shown a cobra. And I already have a kid. So even though I’m not a biology teacher, and it’s been five years since I’ve had a newborn baby around and I don’t remember much about how to care for one, I have a pretty good idea of what’s coming (sometime in the next two weeks).

Yet despite the fact that I have an existing child on whom to base my expectations for my second baby’s personality and appearance, in reality, I don’t have a clue. And that’s got me pretty excited.

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The Worst Gifts For Kids

The Worst Gifts For Kids

This isn’t about dangerous toys. I honestly wouldn’t even know where to begin such a list. When I was a kid, if you wore a bike helmet you were King Dork of Nerd Mountain. Nowadays, you need a helmet just to ride the school bus or you’ll end up suing the NFL.

The standards for safety have changed so drastically that I’ve pretty much stopped giving my kid anything that has corners. (I’m not even joking: my son has never had a Saltine. NOTHING BUT RITZ.)

Instead, this list is about the worst gifts for kids. Not all kids, like I said, I can’t speak to that. These are the worst gifts to buy your own children.

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Problematic Childhood Misconceptions

Problematic Childhood Misconceptions

Kids are gullible. And stupid. And loud. And annoying. And lazy. And way too energetic…

Sorry, lost my train of thought for a second.

The point is, kids will believe anything. Believe me, I know; I’ve tested this. Extensively. And I will continue to test it, both to keep verifying my findings like a proper scientist and because lying to children is so damn entertaining!

At least for a while…

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