I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Despite appearances, I love my kids.
Two months ago, Detective Munch turned six, and to mark the occasion I shared (on FB) one of the sappiest things I’ve ever written, a top ten list of reasons I love him. The reasons included his face, his laugh, his voice, and his love of music. I wrote the post when he was two, and I still love my son, and always will.
But right now, I don’t like my son.
I’m not one to mince words or make excuses. I never have been, and that didn’t change when I became a parent.
This is why I often find it irritating to hear all the ways parents try to avoid blaming their kids for bad behavior. This is aside from the fact that most other parents, and other parents’ children, are irritating to begin with! (No offense, fellow parents. I barely like myself when I’m parenting. It’s not really a good look on anyone.)
Sure, we all make excuses for our kids from time to time, and some of them are warranted – even necessary. Kids are kids. I’m 40, and not only do I struggle to contain my emotions half the time (especially while watching football or when my 5-year-old wakes me up at 2 a.m. by jumping onto my crotch), I also barely know what I’m doing half the time. I certainly don’t expect my children to have a handle on themselves.
But that doesn’t mean they get a pass. That doesn’t mean that every time they misbehave it needs to be rationalized.
My name is Dad and Buried, and I’m a No-aholic.
I tell Detective Munch “no” too much, I say “stop” too much, and I scold him too much, and I bark at him too much. Basically, I’m one big buzzkill for a normal five-year-old kid with energy to burn and a small space in which to burn it.
It’s no wonder he prefers Mom and Buried.
Before I became a parent, I had a lot of fantasies about how I was going to influence my kids to like the stuff I like, and to teach them the stuff I wanted them to know.
I forgot how quickly other influences crop up. My kid is not even six and I’m already fighting a war on multiple fronts.
I think TV is winning.
There are a lot of things I don’t want my kids to become. Bullies, jerks, people who say “All Lives Matter”, Republicans, Jets fans… a lot of things.
Not all of them are within our control, but a few might be. Preventing him from being spoiled, teaching him to be kind and grateful are others. Those are things parents can influence. Right? Maybe? Please?
Help. I think I’m having a control freak-out.