01 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 10 comments

I Hate Taking Naps

I’m so tired right now, there’s at least a 30% chance that I’m dreaming this.

I don’t remember it being this tough with the first kid, but that might be because your brain makes you forget the early days of infancy so you’ll be stupid enough to do it again. Not only does the Hammer spend most of the night wide awake, he spends most of the night wide awake and screaming.

We’re only three weeks in, so there’s always a chance the kid will settle down and the screaming will stop and his sleep schedule will improve. But even if it does, I’m still going to be tired.

For one thing, I’m almost forty. For another, I’m a parent. And, perhaps most importantly, I don’t take naps.

What Babies are Thinking

One of the struggles of dealing with a newborn is never knowing what they’re thinking about.

Sure, when they cry it’s probably because they’re hungry or tired or have a full diaper or are sick of the baby talk or what you to turn the channel, but it’s impossible to ever know. (Of course, when your kids finally can tell you what they’re thinking, it’s usually either insulting or meaningless.)

I made a little pie chart to break down babies most common thoughts.

25 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists One comment

The Crying Game

When we first got The Hammer home, we marveled at how quiet he was. That was a fun half hour!

Turns out he’s actually loud, especially when he hits the so-called “witching hour,” which is the technical term for that specific period of the day when your baby really wants you to know he’s pissed about this whole “not in the womb” thing and he blames YOU.

My five-year-old is more of a whiner, but really, what’s the difference? It’s all a bunch of high-pitched squealing. Even Mom and Buried is a little emotional lately, which is understandable. Her hormones must be going crazy, just a few weeks after giving birth and also with all the catching-up-on-drinking she’s gotta do!

Lately, I’m just surrounded by criers. So I decided to have some fun with it.

Binge Watching

The Hammer is not even two weeks old and he’s already disrupting our lives.

We love having him around, of course (he’s adorable, and all he does is sleep! What’s not to love?) but the reality of living with an infant is that whatever routine you had – and we had one that worked for close to five years – is immediately thrown in the shredder.

The new baby has changed the way we sleep, changed the way eat, changed the way live, and changed the way we treat each other (sorry, that was Tupac). But perhaps nothing has changed more than how we parent our five-year-old.

Stuck Inside with Kids

More power to our kids, but nothing makes a person hate snow more than being an adult. There are only so many times you can take your kids sledding and ice skating and snowman-building, especially when you have things to do!

No matter how outdoorsy you are, in the winter you’re sure to be spending more and more time indoors with a collection of five-hour-energy side-effects in tiny human form, slowly but surely exhausting every single entertainment option available in an effort to keep the kids occupied. And keep yourself from turning into Jack Nicholson in The Shining. It’s not easy.

And it’s only going to get worse for me, now that I have a newborn too.

Dad and Buried

Tag: funny

I Hate Taking Naps

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What Babies are Thinking

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The Crying Game

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Binge Watching

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Stuck Inside with Kids

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